Monday, August 24, 2009

Why Would I Make This Up?

You all remember MMIT, right? My Mischief Maker In Training. The youngest. The light in my life. My miracle baby.

Since the older offspring are in school now I get to focus on my baby. Or rather, she gets to run wild while I do other things, not having to entertain my older children.

I have been wanting to work on potty training this lovely little girl for a while. Diapers are expensive! So, what better time than now? We started last week, and as of today she has only managed to pee in the toilet once. She loves the panties! Really she does, but not enough to not use them like she would a diaper. Sad thing for mom is that panties don't contain like diapers do.

I can hear you all saying right now- She isn't ready. Ya, I know. Maybe I'm not ready to give it my all, but I really don't want to buy diapers anymore. I keep thinking that the light will turn on and she will magically know how it's done.

Now, today--->

I was visiting the blogosphere when I hear this-

UMM- "Mom, Malia just peed her panties."

Mom- "Where is she?"

UMM- "On the counter getting fruit snacks."

I raced into the kitchen. Yup, there she was in all her peed on glory. Reaching for a fruit snack. Pee trickling down her leg. And what was that I smelled? CRAP! Literally.

For most of you this would only be a matter of bleaching your counter or tearing it out to put a new one in. My problem is that I am not the best housekeeper. I have a stack of mail on my counter. It is also the catch-all for my kids. Don't know where it goes? Let's put it on the counter.

Not only did MMIT soil my counter, but she also soiled my mail. Who needs to look through bills anyway?

Bill Collector- "Ma'am (I hate being called Ma'am, just so you know), why is your payment late?"

Me- "My daughter peed on my bills."

Hey, that's better than my dog ate it. And it's more believable, right?

So, now I have to go through my pile, throw away the gross stuff, clean off the counter, and rerun the dishwasher. Oh, did I fail to mention the CLEAN dishes were in full shot of the flowing pee? Ya, my dishwasher was open, airing off so I could have one of my offspring empty it later. Now it is going to have to be much later since I am rerunning it and the dishes will be wet again.

You all are jealous of my life. (I have to tell myself that or I would probably hide in my closet, rocking myself back and forth, murmuring something incoherent.)

Theme song- Parents just don't understand by the Fresh Prince (aka Will Smith, back in the day)