Here we are group. Another Friday, and you know what that mean...
The meeting will now come to order. Hello, my name is Julie and I am a neglectful parent.
Something has been bothering me lately about my parenting (I know, big surprise, huh?). I realized that I don't sit down to eat breakfast or lunch with the offspring...E.V.E.R. The only time I ever eat at a table with them is for dinner (on the rare nights I am home to eat dinner with them) or when we go to a restaurant. I just don't do it. When I took D.A.R.E. in elementary school I think I learned the "Just say no" a little too well. I apply it to just about every facet of my life.
You might be wondering WHY? Well, have you met my kids? Would you want to sit at a table with them?
Now, really, ever since I was little I have had a major problem with other people eating around me. I hate the sound of chewing. It is like nails on a chalkboard to me. No matter how hard I try to ignore it the worse I feel. I get to the point of nausea sometimes. No joke. Really, I do.
My brother had a real problem, which I think exacerbated the problem (now that is a big word). He would eat monster bowls of cereal. His main goal was to eat the whole thing in one (maybe 2) bites. He has a big mouth, I do admit, but I think the guy used a shovel to eat. He'd stick so much in his mouth that he couldn't even close his mouth. So, not only did I get to hear the slurping of the food off of the shovel, but then I got to hear the crunch and the heavy breathing through the nose since he couldn't breathe though his mouth with so much food in it.
So, now that I am a mother I have tried to instill in my kids the concern for others' nerves. To no avail, though. It is practically impossible to teach children to keep their mouths shut. It is a constant reminder at the table- "keep your mouth closed" and by the time I finish my plate of food I am running to my room for a little quiet (non-chewing) time.
Hubby isn't any better really. He will bring bowls of food into our room. Umm, our room is not the kitchen. I don't really have a problem with SOME foods in our room. Bring in a quiet bowl of icecream (but make sure there is NO slurping). Bring in a quiet piece of bread. Maybe even a quiet homemade cookie. But for the love of Pete, PLEASE don't bring in chips. Really? Chips? That is considered a good evening-in-the-bed snack? I don't think so. At least have the decency to suck on the chip until it is soggy enough to chew quietly. You may think that is gross, but that is what I usually do. Hey, I practice what I preach (sometimes).
Theme song- Come On Feel The Noise by Quiet Riot. (I have to giggle at today's selection. Talk about oxymoron!)
Something has been bothering me lately about my parenting (I know, big surprise, huh?). I realized that I don't sit down to eat breakfast or lunch with the offspring...E.V.E.R. The only time I ever eat at a table with them is for dinner (on the rare nights I am home to eat dinner with them) or when we go to a restaurant. I just don't do it. When I took D.A.R.E. in elementary school I think I learned the "Just say no" a little too well. I apply it to just about every facet of my life.
You might be wondering WHY? Well, have you met my kids? Would you want to sit at a table with them?
Now, really, ever since I was little I have had a major problem with other people eating around me. I hate the sound of chewing. It is like nails on a chalkboard to me. No matter how hard I try to ignore it the worse I feel. I get to the point of nausea sometimes. No joke. Really, I do.
My brother had a real problem, which I think exacerbated the problem (now that is a big word). He would eat monster bowls of cereal. His main goal was to eat the whole thing in one (maybe 2) bites. He has a big mouth, I do admit, but I think the guy used a shovel to eat. He'd stick so much in his mouth that he couldn't even close his mouth. So, not only did I get to hear the slurping of the food off of the shovel, but then I got to hear the crunch and the heavy breathing through the nose since he couldn't breathe though his mouth with so much food in it.
So, now that I am a mother I have tried to instill in my kids the concern for others' nerves. To no avail, though. It is practically impossible to teach children to keep their mouths shut. It is a constant reminder at the table- "keep your mouth closed" and by the time I finish my plate of food I am running to my room for a little quiet (non-chewing) time.
Hubby isn't any better really. He will bring bowls of food into our room. Umm, our room is not the kitchen. I don't really have a problem with SOME foods in our room. Bring in a quiet bowl of icecream (but make sure there is NO slurping). Bring in a quiet piece of bread. Maybe even a quiet homemade cookie. But for the love of Pete, PLEASE don't bring in chips. Really? Chips? That is considered a good evening-in-the-bed snack? I don't think so. At least have the decency to suck on the chip until it is soggy enough to chew quietly. You may think that is gross, but that is what I usually do. Hey, I practice what I preach (sometimes).
Theme song- Come On Feel The Noise by Quiet Riot. (I have to giggle at today's selection. Talk about oxymoron!)
