Tuesday, February 3, 2009

You asked for it

So, to appease the masses I am going to tell the groping apartment date story. You all might not even think this is funny/embarrassing, but for an innocent Mormon girl, on a date at Ricks, no less, this was not the situation I thought I'd find myself in.

My roommate, Tiffany, was a sports journalist for the college newspaper. This gave her access to all things sports. One of the people she met through her job as a writer was a guy named Rusty. I thought he was the cat's meow (does anyone ever really say that anymore? Well, I did!). He was totally into sports and quite attractive, plus I hadn't had a date in forever so I was a little lonely and he seemed available.

Tiffany went to work setting us up on a date. After a few "chance" meetings we hooked up for a date. Ummm, in his apartment? When he said he wanted to see a movie I naturally assumed it was going to be at a theater. One should not just assume such obvious things, especially if you are going on a date with the likes of Rusty, the Rustmeister! He had different ideas.

The movie he picked was "Say Anything," one of the all-time greats. Which is now forever ruined for me. In fact it has been more than 10 years and I still have not watched it since that night.

He picked me up and we went back to his EMPTY apartment. The date started off on the couch, innocently watching the movie. Not too long into it he went to grab a blanket and layed it on the floor and sat down on it, encouraging me to follow suit. Umm, okay. Here, I blame myself for being naive. I guess I should have known, but honestly, I didn't!

So I plop down on the blanket, back to the couch and he scoots closer. Then he starts moving around like he is uncomfortable. Then he acts like his back is hurting. "Can you give me a back rub?" Okay, something weird is going on here. Finally I started catching a clue. But what do I do? "Umm, sure." So I give him a back rub.

(Side note here- have you ever heard the song, "I'm just a guy" by Brad Paisley? Well, the lyrics are so appropriate, too bad the song wasn't out before I had this date. "When you say a back rub means only a back rub then you swat my hand when I try, well now what can I say at the end of the day, honey, I'm still a guy!" Too appropriate of an intro to the rest of the story- but I'm sure you already knew where this was headed.)

So, I finished rubbing his back and he turned around, offering one to me. No thanks, I'm fine. He started to slide down lower to a laying position and when I didn't follow his lead he sat back up and put his arm around me.

That's when the groping, or rather, attempted groping started. How is a girl supposed to watch a movie and fend off Mr. Wandering Hands at the same time? I had to look at him and flat out tell him no. He tried to kiss my ear, then my neck. I had to tell him no, again! Seriously, I love to kiss, but we hadn't really even talked yet.

I guess my "NO's" didn't sit well with him because he backed off. The movie ended, he took me home. He didn't even get out of the car or anything, and rode off before I was even to my apartment. That was my first and last date with Groping Guy, THANKFULLY! But it was totally embarrassing. Aren't you embarrassed for me? Embarrassed that I was on a date with an icky guy, embarrassed that I didn't see the signs, embarrassed that he later told everyone about the date. Yup, that's right. I was the tease-talk of the campus for a while. Good times.

So, theme song for today- Creep by Radiohead. Too appropriate for my creep of a date!