Note to my daughter

Dear UMM,

I am fully aware that your little body is growing. I know that your mind is growing. I know that right now you can't really read, which is okay since you are only 4. However, you should know enough by now to NOT do the following:

• Put Bengay in your eyes. I know you thought it was lotion, but even lotion does not belong in your eyes.

• Write on the outside of the house with a large permanent marker. I know your life-long dream is to be a gangsta-tagger, but let's wait until you can actually write words.
• Play with your sister piggy bank. You know she is just gonna get mad and hit you and then I am going to have to intervene, which I really hate doing cuz that means I have to be the Mom.
  
• Ask for a snack every 5 minutes. Again, I know your body is growing, but I don't have enough money to feed your every hunger pain. And really, it isn't hunger, it is boredom. Go play!

I'm sure that as each day goes by I am going to have to remind you of things. That is something moms do. But once more, let me tell you... Bengay will sting if you put it in your eyes. Yes, everytime. So don't do it again.

LOVE YA Sweet girl!

Your Patience-Challenged Mom!