Sad and True

This week my kids have had to put up with a numb (yes, I said numb, not dumb) mom. I found out early Tuesday morning that a very close friend that I have know for more than 20 years decided to end his life, leaving a wife and 3 beautiful, young children behind. This is a sad entry, I know. But since I decided at the beginning of this blourney that this would mostly be a journal-type thing for my family I thought I should write about why I have been walking around in a daze for the last 5 days.

This is a friend that I played the trumpet with, went to seminary (for those non-Mormon readers it is a class early in the morning to study our religion), we had classes all through school (elementary up to high school), we graduated together, we were in band competitions together, church dances, you name it. We were a part of mostly the same group all growing up and I really miss him.

I am not ever going to be the same, but I hope that through this I can be a better person, recognize my weaknesses and seek help when I need it. I didn't know this was even a consideration for him, neither did his family, including his wife.

The memorial service was beautiful, lots of memories were shared. I will truly miss my friend. Tonight's theme song- Hold On by Sarah McLachlan. Beautiful lyrics and really appropriate for this time. I will be back to my normal crazy self soon, peeps. Until then, enjoy the music.