Me & My Mischief Makers

School Pictures Are In

2011-10-12T12:03:00.000-07:00

I am hoping to update the pics of my kids to the right -->

We just got school pictures done and yes, I officially have the cutest kids! The pics turned out great! I'm also going to try an overhaul on the whole set up. So look for changes coming soon. It's all a part of the new and improved ME!

9 day stretch

2011-09-28T03:08:00.001-07:00

Finished a 9-day stretch at work and am glad I get to be off for 2 days to be with my family. Tonight, however, my "I'm thankful for..." is what helped me get through the LONG nights of typing and boredom...

Have you downloaded the IHEARTRADIO app? Well, you should! I heard about it so much on the radio that I downloaded it not too long after it was released and have totally enjoyed it since then. I have a few favorite stations on there, but I really only listen to one. UMMM, 24/7 comedy radio. Yup, I get to listen to hilarious short comedy skits and laugh so hard I disturb the people around me. I know we are supposed to be quiet to allow others to type and focus on their work or whatever they are listening to, but sometimes there is just something too funny and I can't help but laugh out loud. Yeah for comedy radio.

Name Change Winner...

2011-09-27T01:39:00.000-07:00

I am LOVING the new name and hope that y'all like it too... as it fits my life so well. Me & My Mischief Makers. They all love the mischief and I am continually baffled at what their brains come up with. :)

Just a little rundown as to our current life...

We moved downstairs in the house we share with my older sister and her family. This was a good thing for so many reasons, but mainly it has forced me to go through and de-crap my house. There is still a constant mess but that is because I prefer to sleep and/or be lazy during my few waking, non-working hours. But you would not believe the amount of papers I have shredded, the bags of trash and boxes of items taken to DI. It's amazing how freeing it feels to get rid of things.
The kids started school at the end of last month. Second year at this school and all seems to be going well. I am blessed to have my sister here to help my kids with their homework most days since I have to leave for work before the kids get home from school. But I am doing my best to schedule time in each classroom to see them as often as possible.
We took a trip to Texas before school started, to visit my sister and her family. It was AWESOME... except for the 24 hour drive (me being the only driver, it was split into 2 days) in a 5-seater car... hmmm, don't recommend it, but we did all survive it, and have GREAT memories from it. When I finally download the pictures I'll try to remember to post some. The kids keep asking when the next trip to Texas is going to be. My response so far has been, "When mommy can afford plane tickets for everyone." :) Doubt they have any clue that that means probably never... but a mom can dream, and so can her kids.
I got hired as a career employee with the postal service FINALLY! After working as a contract/temp for over 3 years I was blessed with a full time position with benefits. It was a stressful time, but couldn't have been better timing in my life. The hours right now stink but I can't be sad that I have a job with perks. I just keep praying that eventually I will be able to work during school hours so I can be with my kids each evening.

I just had to end telling what my favorite part of each day is...

Right now... I just got in my room from kissing each of my kids, tucking the blankets around them and whispering to them how much I love them. Some nights I just stare in amazement that they are mine, and at how grown they are. Tonight, this is what I am most thankful for.

Dear Irony...

2011-06-28T04:00:00.000-07:00

I wrote this post a little bit ago, but am finally posting it as we have now talked with our kids and making it official...

Dear Irony, I have to congratulate you on your fabulous part in my life. As I look at the name of this blog I giggle... and am sad... Love, ME

For those who don't know, there are many reasons I stopped blogging. But the main reason I didn't start up again as I was setting my life straight was that I was dealing with some major changes. Not to go into many details, but there will be some changes in my blogging, namely, the title of this blog since it is no longer applicable to my life.

My husband, previously known as FiM (my Fix It Man), and I could no longer fix what was beyond repair. We are currently separated and will be filing for divorce as soon as I can get a job with insurance. In the meantime I am trying to deal with sadness, change, shock, loneliness, and the ever-present judging of other people. Unless there is a bit of funny going on in my life from the offspring or from work or anywhere else I might be able to find humor, there won't be a post for that day. I appreciate all those who have been supportive and loving to me and my family. I also appreciate those who haven't judged or just assumed they knew the full story. We both played a part, and for now we are both accepting our parts for messing up what should have been eternal. So for now... here is your assignment America (or world if you are from somewhere else)...

If you have kept up with my blog and kinda/sorta/bitsa/maybe know me then in the comment section give me suggestions for a new blog title. It can be silly, appropriate, or whatever... I just can't deal with ironic anymore. :)

Oh, and one more thing... I don't know what y'all think about this but I am toying with the idea of shutting off comments. So if you have crap to tell me forget about it. One bad comment and they'll be shut off for good. I don't need anyone hating me for JOKING about being a bad mom. I love my kids more than anyone EVER could. The private comments I got about the Neglectful Parents group and awards have convinced me that our society has lost its sense of humor. Buck up people. I need a laugh every once in a while.

Song of the day... Say Hello to Goodbye by Shontelle

Wish List

2011-06-11T00:46:00.000-07:00

So recently I have discovered 24!

I know, I know... 24 is already over... but when I was down recovering from surgery I finally had time watch the show. And it is a good thing I didn't watch it until now. I admire those who had the patience to wait week after week for ONE SINGLE EPISODE. I for one, am not that patient. I stay up way too late on my nights off to watch Jack Bauer ROCK the world hour after hour! Okay, I'm watching him ROCK MY WORLD! :)

On a related topic I have heard SOOOOOOO much about this Bentley moron, from the Bachelorette , that I thought I'd find out what all the hubbub was about. Ya, I said hubbub... So tonight, before I began my 24 marathon I watched the most recent episode. I used to watch this show all the time, but since I began working nights I have dropped most of my show addictions.

How do these topics relate besides both being TV shows? I'll tell you how they relate. That's why you're reading this right? You wanna read what I think... can't for the life of me figure out why, but since you're here sit down and stay a while.

My wish for tonight?

Real life and Fiction... I wish it were the RIGHT way in life.

The sexy, strong, brave, brilliant man, Jack Bauer, should be REAL LIFE!

Retarded, egotistical, ugly jerk-offs, like Bentley, should be MADE UP/ FICTION!

I'm sure we all can make a list of people that would be awesome to know, if only they were real. My list would also consist of all the NCIS characters (mainly the male ones since I am a lover of the male species), Patrick Jane from the Mentalist, and most of the characters from Castle, especially Rick Castle cuz he's HOT AND FUNNY! Wanna add to my list? Add a comment.

People I wish were Made up/fiction? My list isn't very long, but it is private. So we'll leave it at that... Bentley, I will say out loud (or in type), should be fiction. Why? Because then we either can rewrite his character into someone honorable and kind or we can write his character out of the show. Wouldn't that be nice? Let's just hope that no other Salt Lake City women fall for his suave fakeness! And with all my heart... I hope whatever business he is heading fails. Men like that shouldn't succeed in life because he just steps on people... he thinks he can and there won't be any repercussions...

I do have to admit that I let Oldest Child, who was having a hard night, watch most of the show with me. Go ahead and judge away... I really don't care! She wanted me to explain what was going on. It was interesting to try to explain the whole thing about lying and such to her. She asked if I would have known that Bentley was lying if I was Ashley. I told her probably not... I think that surprised her. She asked me why not. I went into just a bit of detail with her about the guys I have dated and my experiences with being lied to... WOW! Humbling experience to share with my daughter and admit to errors in judgement and flaws in my character. All I can hope is that she loves me anyway.

Song for tonight... Bohemian Rhapsody by Queen. Mainly chosen for the opening lines that go well with my topic for tonight. "Is this the real life? Is this just fantasy? Caught in a landslide, no escape from reality..." Good times, brilliant lines! Nite y'all!

OH.... And are you still wondering about my surgery? I think I'll probably share that next. There are a few funnies to be shared with that story!

Books...

2011-05-30T01:53:00.000-07:00

I love to read... and with my super exciting job I am able to listen to audiobooks every night. It's pretty dang cool. Between books and music I stay well entertained at work. However, I have recently discovered a weakness. In discovering this I have made a short list of books I should not allow myself to read and/or listen to anymore. Yes, it is a short list, but here it is...

1. any of the Twilight series

2. any of the Outlander series

Have you read these? They are addicting! Life ceases to exist outside of my brain when I am either reading or listening to any of these. This can be good in some circumstances, but when there is so much to do?... not so good. It's as bad as trying to watch just one episode of 24. NOT POSSIBLE!

...And even as I am saying this... I won't stop. A girl can dream about having her own Edward Cullins. And a woman can fantasize about have a Jamie Fraser. YUMMY!

Something to make you smile

2011-05-15T01:28:00.000-07:00

If there is ever a moment of sadness or depression I now know what to do...

watch videos of my kids.

For a little over a year I was EXCELLENT at taking pics and videos of the kids (ironically it was when I was totally into blogging before, AND had a working camera). Tonight I was downloading pictures from my external harddrive onto my NEW laptop that Dalen just gave to me. I thought I check out what was on there. And found some FABULOUS videos of my chillins. They are just awesome, in case you were wondering.

It made me miss the cuteness of how young they were. It made me smile at how much they've grown. It made me happy to be their mom!

Silliness

2011-05-06T22:36:00.000-07:00

People,

Y'all are just silly.

I guess I am too.

I have missed blogging but have abstained for various reasons.

I have hated to disappoint, but really??? I have been uber-busy with life.

Yes, that is my EXCUSE. It is an excuse not a reason, cuz I know that I could have made the time to entertain the masses with my cunning wit and sparkling personality.

I'm at a loss as to what to say right now. There is so much churning in my brain matter, but nothing that really can be told or wants to be told. So help me out here... what do you wanna hear about. Leave your comments on what you wanna hear. If it fits the following criteria you just might see your topic posted in the near future.

1. MUST be entertaining. I need a few laughs and to get the creative juices flowing.
2. MUST be something I am okay with talking about. I know that with all my openness in the past (what with my bad parenting skills and messy house) it seems silly that there is anything I wouldn't be okay with talking about... TRUST ME, there is! At least for now.
3. IT CANNOT have anything to do with politics. There is enough crap in my life without having to start world war 3 via the world wide web!
4. And for the moment it CANNOT have anything to do with my recent surgery. I want to keep y'all in suspense as to what kind of fantastic surgery I underwent earlier this year. Keep in mind I am 35, have 4 kids and breast fed all of them.... Curious? Heehee... get your mind out of the gutter!

Song for today... Tonight Tonight by Hot Chelle Rae. Why? Cuz I wanna dance and this song makes me boogie!

All I Ever Needed To Know...

2010-05-17T16:19:00.000-07:00

...about myself I learned from my son.

"You're almost Beautiful." (He said this to me when I was not quite finished getting ready for the day. Apparently all I needed to do still was fix my hair. Then maybe I would be all the way beautiful.)
"You know the wiggly part on the back of your arms. When it wiggles like that it means you're chubby... But that's okay mom. You're working on it." (Said as we were leaving the gym. I had my workout clothes on, which afforded him a perfect view of my wiggly arms.)
"Do you think Malia's hair will ever be dark like ours? Well, not like your's mom, cuz yours is white."

Is it a wonder why some days I just don't wanna get out of bed?

Really, kids are just too honest. He loves his momma though. He tells me everyday, "You're the best mom." Now, I don't think I qualify as the best mom, but I do think I can forgive the chubby, old, and almost beautiful comments when he tells me he loves me.

Did you know?

2010-04-08T14:50:00.002-07:00

Trying to survive Spring Break... so I took the kids to the park today. I know it isn't the same as taking them on a super cool vacation to California, Florida, or even St. George, but it is free and the best I could do.

Anyhow, at the park the following conversation actually took place.

Oldest Child: "I hate being short. Everyone that is my age or younger are all taller than me."

Mom: "That's not true. You are just right for your age. Besides, I'm taller than all my sisters. I'm even taller than my mom. You can't control how tall you are."

Oldest Child: "Of course you are taller than your mom. Old people shrink."

True Story!

I'm Slow... Deal With IT!

2010-04-08T14:50:00.001-07:00

Thought I'd post some pics of what we have been doing at our house lately!

Perfect place to fall asleep, right?

We were pirates...

Malia was a cyclops :)

Mommy and Daddy put a super cool shelf up in our room after we painted.

The shelf actually runs along 3 walls. It's AWESOME!

Then we started work on the front room.

What do you think of the colors?

Then we had Easter at Aunt Gramma's house. So much fun!

Aunt Gramma reading to the kids while the parents and teenagers hid the candy and eggs for the kids' hunt.

Then, Easter Sunday we went to Gramma Reyes' house and had lunch and another candy hunt!

Now we are just trying to make it through Spring Break alive!

It's Not ALL Bad

2009-12-19T19:29:00.000-08:00

I'm not dead (although I walk with the living dead- working the nightshift). I am not sick (although I sometimes am sick to my stomach and constantly tired). I am really alive and kicking (sometimes kicking mad- but that is not for today's story).

So, since I haven't died I thought I would bring some holiday cheer to y'all! True story! (and I'll try REALLY hard to only add the important details since I am famous for too many details)

FiM lost his wallet today, while he was at an unnamed store (Ross Dress for Less- which to me is the equivilent of ghetto shopping- sorry for those of you who love the place, I'd rather shop at Wally World- never had a good experience at Ross). Anywho... He was at the counter, checking out and reached for his wallet, which he knew he had with him. Apparently he had to go back and look for it, people just stared, no one offered assistance. UGH! Where is the Christmas Spirit of kindness, love, charity, giving???? It was totally missing. No one offered to help look, so he ran home to cancel all the cards.

A little side note, which is uber-important to this story, FiM worked a side job this month to make some extra money for Christmas. He was paid in gift cards... which happened to be in his wallet.

Missing items : license, debit card, work debit card, temple recommend, library card, social security card (don't even get me started on this one) and 4 gift cards (non-replaceable). Other things too, but this just gives you an idea of the stress he had when he lost it, and the stress I had when I found out.

After confusion and annoyance on the phone with the credit union and such to cancel said cards and shaking from frustration with whoever thought it was okay to take it right before Christmas I just wanted to cry. Thankfully my wonderful friend/sister Sherry was here and she helped me through it.

THEN....

All of a sudden....

I kid you not....

a car pulled up to the house (like 2 or 3 hrs later).

Sherry and I looked at each other wondering who the heck was parking in front of my house. Didn't recognize the car, didn't recognize the lady...

But I did recognize what she had in her hand as she walked up the front steps. I ran to the front door and pulled it open before she even had a chance to knock. Think I probably scared her. I already had tears in my eyes. She said she found it at Ross (yup). She had called the library to get the number, they wouldn't give it but they tried to call us to let us know. They didn't know we disconnected our house line. Oops! Then the lady called blockbuster. Same problem. Oops, again! So she then decided to just drive over to the address on the driver's license. She apologized for looking through the wallet. Ummm, I don't care, she brought it back. I only wish I had something to give to her to tell her thank you. I hugged her and thanked her and told her she was so wonderful.

So for all of you out there.... no everyone is a selfish, rude, obnoxious, awful person this time of year. There are good people out there who will do the right thing. I doubt this lady will ever look at this blog, but I want to thank her and tell everyone I know that an angel touched my life today!

Lesson from the Bits

2009-11-05T14:14:00.000-08:00

I was on my way to the instacare (Snake has Strep throat) when I got stuck behind a man riding a bike. Now, I don't mind sharing the road with bikers, but this guy was literally in the middle of the road. The road was wide enough for a bike lane (and to my understanding bikers should ride in the understood bike lane if possible). If I am wrong don't bother telling me. It isn't like I care. I only tell you this to set the stage for what happened.

Me: Oh, come on! Move over guy! (there were cars coming the other way so I couldn't just go around him)

Bits: (as we passed him FINALLY) MOM! Hims can't ride fast. He is an old man.

Me: (smiling) Oh, really?

Bits: Ya, we have to be nice, mom!

There you have it. Straight from the mouth of a 4 year old. Guess I needed my kindness lesson for today.

Halloween Prep

2009-10-27T14:47:00.000-07:00

I am not a huge fan of Halloween. Never have been. Wanna know my reasons? No dissing on the list (yes, I am making another list cuz I'm all about the lists).

For 364 days a year we teach out children not to beg. Then magically on Oct. 31 we decide to make our kids go out, door to door (or however you do it in your family) and make people give them candy.
I am not an actress. I don't enjoy dressing up. I don't enjoy pretending to be someone else.
I don't like the competition of "who has the best costume."
People hand out the crappy candy. If I want candy I am not going to waste time or money on the crap like smarties. I want the chocolate. GIVE ME THE CHOCOLATE!
I am the biggest scaredy cat you will ever meet. I don't like horror films, I hate haunted houses, and don't like to have to crap scared out of me.

All of this aside, some of our friends host a Halloween party every year and it is a blast. I could do without the dressing up personally but I love to see what other people dress up as. But, since it was a Halloween party, couples party at that, we needed to get into the spirit. After consulting a number of out of town friends and the internet I had a few ideas. At first I was going to use some of the TOTALLY AWESOME 80's clothes I got when I was visiting my mom in California. But that didn't feel right. So then we thought about going as Father Time and Mother Nature. Pretty easy, right? Just get a whole slew of watches and a big clock on a chain for him and sew leaves and branches all over clothes for me. But, then we stopped at a Halloween Super Store to check out the merchandise. Guess what we found? You'll never guess, so I will tell you. Stuff for FiM to be a pimp. AWESOME! So, we got a hat, cane and nasty accessories for him. Fishnet stockings and a monster nasty wig for me. Put that together with a corsette, my 5 inch hooker heels and thick makeup and I was my pimp's hooker. Now, mind you, this was a party with a ton of friends from church, so if you are thinking that I am gonna look totally immodest, think again. I was a modest hooker. Just ask my bishop, he was there. We both even topped the outfits off with a few fake tattoos (cuz you all know I have a thing for tats).

I have to say, it was probably the most fun I have had in years... especially at a halloween party.

Our Fabulous Host and Hostess, the Grays.

Our Friends, Sick and Tired Lefler...

Bushman Zombies

Love this pair! The Joneses

No, he isn't Obama... he is too dark. He is Buckwheat of course! The Harrisons.

The Burger King with his Dairy Queen... the Macbeans.

So much silver! The Johnsons

The Barretts... my super hero and super star.

A pair of blue jeans (and genes)... The Belkas.

The Thurbers... I mean Cruella and her dalmation.

The kids had a little fun as we were getting ready.

We are attempting...

2009-10-20T13:22:00.000-07:00

I'm trying to manage my computer time better so as not to neglect my wifely/motherly/homemakerly duties. We'll see if I can hack it!

This isn't gonna be the most uplifting post ever because I thought that maybe I should tell y'all a little something about me that most of you don't know.

Almost 3 years ago I was pregnant with my little angel/devil MMIT. She is a gem. However, about 3 months into the pregnancy I noticed my heart was doing some really funky things. I would just be laying down and all of a sudden my heart rate would jump like I was running the 100meter dash. I had a lot of light-headedness and dizzy spells. I'd get winded really easily and such, so at one of my regular appointments I asked my midwife about it and she and I decided I needed to just have a check up with a cardiologist.

8 weeks later- the soonest I could get in to the appointment... I found out a list of things:

I have a heart murmur
my heartbeat was WAY too high
my blood pressure was in the normal range

The blood pressure thing is what really threw them off. The EKG didn't really give any enlightenment to the situation so we schedule an echocardiogram. Another month of waiting. This was getting scary/ridiculous.

The echo enlightened us as to the problem, though... but maybe it would have been better for me not to know.

Yes, I did have a heart murmur (duh!)
I have an enlarged heart (cardiomyopathy)
My left ventricle is weak (causing the left side to have to work almost twice as hard, causing the excelerated heart beat.)

So, I was given 2 options...

terminate the pregnancy to stop the strain on my heart
go forward with the pregnancy but be under a drs care the whole time.

There were a lot of stipulations if I went with #2, which I obviously did.

No more details. Suffice it to say, I survived the delivery, and since then I have had to have yearly checkups with a yearly echocardiogram. I did pretty good until 2 weeks ago. My ejection fraction is not good. I have a leaky valve and my heart is still enlarged (more so than when I was pregnant). So I have had to start on medicine which makes me even more tired. Ugh! Like I wasn't tired already with my heart not working right.

We are surviving... I am surviving. Another appointment to come in 2 more weeks and we'll see how the medicine is doing. We probably won't see a change in my heart for at least 3-6 months, but as long as my blood pressure doesn't dip too low we are hopefully on the right track.

Sorry for the depressing crap. Just thought I'd get it off my chest.

Sometimes

2009-10-11T21:03:00.000-07:00

Sometimes in life we are lucky to have a chance to be happy.

Sometimes in life we are lucky to have a family.

Sometimes in life we are blessed to find THE ONE!

Sometimes in life we are happy in our jobs.

Sometimes in life we feel good about ourselves.

Sometimes in life we have the best friends EVER.

Sometimes in life we feel content.

Sometimes in life we have everything we could ever dream of...

and yet we still screw everything up.

This is a fairwell... for the time being. I need to focus on being a wife, mom and friend. Hopefully I will get over to the library to check y'alls blogs, but I can't guarantee how often that will be since I currently have a late fee due there and I am boycotting the outrageous late fees! I'm really gonna miss ya! You probably have no idea how much I'm gonna miss ya. But at least for a little while I am gonna have to take a hiatus. Hopefully I will be forgiven for my absence by you later and you will want to come by and visit again. But for now... so long, farewell, (whatever the heck the next word in the song is), adeiu.

Funny to come home

2009-10-05T08:23:00.001-07:00

Snake showed me one of the "creations" made by the Bits while I was gone. It is 2 blocks taped together.

He handed it to me and said, "try to break them apart."

I took it and tried- but the tape was layers thick and I couldn't do it.

Oldest Child looked at Snake and said, "it is too hard, no one can break it apart."

Snake said, "Uh huh, Dad can. He has a table muscle."

Heehee!

the week continues

2009-09-29T17:10:00.000-07:00

Finished shopping for the freezer meals
Mixed and bagged meatloaf for freezer
Cooking chicken (currently) for the rest of the freezer meals.
Checked my emails, FB and Twitter, but haven't been around the Blogosphere to do my daily visits...sorry! I need to catch up when I get back, but I won't be doing much in the way of visits this week. Don't judge me.
Laundry for my parents (which is SO much easier than doing laundry for 4 small children)
Still helping with the daycare
Have not caused any harm to any of the kids - I'm not really violent, I promise!
Took a few pics of places that mean something to me so that I can have a super-cool post after I get home.
Vacuumed the downstairs
Showered today... yes, this is a major accomplishment for me because I am not sleeping so well so to get up early enough to shower was a HUGE deal!

That's all folk...

Oh, and for the 3rd day in a row- UMM cried while we video called. She has yet to make it through talking to me without crying. It is breaking my heart. I miss my kids! (Never expected that, did ya?) If being gone for 9 days doesn't make me the winner of the Most Neglectful Parent Award this year, I really have no idea what will clinch it for me.

I HAVE ARRIVED

2009-09-27T21:13:00.000-07:00

Yes, I am in SoCal, enjoying myself. However, getting here was interesting. Pretty sure my plane neighbor was ready to HUCK the last half of the flight...I spilled water on him when the flight attendant decided that maybe he didn't want to take my trash from me...my plane neighbor thought he should have been allowed to have my seat too!... oh, did I tell you that my plane neighbor was annoying? Ya, but at least he didn't huck!

Quick update...

Mom is home from the hospital, doing good.

I haven't killed my brother yet... I'll keep you posted on this one.

Dad is much happier now that his "Wifee" is home.

Had a fun Denny's Run with my sister, Jen and brother, Dave. Learned that the guy sitting in the booth next to us was a professional name-dropper...heehee.

Defrosted the freezer and cleaned it out already.

Starting tomorrow- daycare... Can you feel the excitement OOZING out of me?

no theme song...I'm not on my computer. No complaining.

M.I.A.

2009-09-24T14:28:00.000-07:00

I was MIA for 2 days... lay off! I am a crazy girl, trying to get everything prepared for leaving.

That is right folks, I am taking a vacation.

Well, not really... I am going to SoCal to help out with my Mom's daycare while she recovers from hip-replacement surgery. FYI- she is doing much better, although her blood pressure was really low this morning.

So, I am going to be gone for 9 days. Yes, 9 days without my gorgeous FiM. 9 days without my kids. BUT- that is 9 days that I have to prepare for. And most of the time I fly by the seat of my pants. But how am I able to do that being 3 states away from my family? 9 days away means being prepared. 9 days of clean clothes. 9 days of meals. 9 days worth of clean dishes (actually I am thinking we are going to go the route of the paper products), 9 days of EVERYTHING.

K- so as I was thinking about getting my family all prepared for me to be gone I pondered on my friends. I have to tell y'all... I have the greatest friends E.V.E.R! I thought about the many things/blessings my friends bring to my life.

Each friend adds something unique, something special, and that includes my bloggy friends. I don't want to go into specifics because I am the dork that would totally forget to put someone on the list and feel uber bad for the rest of eternity. But, I thought that I would tell you all what my friends have added to my life. I am all about lists.

Happiness- just a phonecall or a text...
Service- I have friend who know... friends who do... and I love them for that.
Listening ears- I doubt I need to explain this one
Helpful advice- this one is self-explanatory, too
My sounding board- when I think I have had enough... I can let it go
Silliness- sometimes a girl just needs to be silly, and I have friends that are okay with my silliness- or at least they don't hate me for it.
X-Ray Vision- they see right through me, know when I am in need...
Strong- in the physical, emotional, and spiritual sense.
FUNNY!- cuz I can ALWAYS use a good laugh
Thoughtful

These are just a few of things I was thinking about. Each friend adds to my life and I just wanted to give a BIG

THANK YOU!

to all of you. Love ya TONS and BUNCHES... and as my friend Michelle told me the other day- Love you Big Fat Piggy Bunches!

Song- I was looking up the friend song that I wanted and the one that kept popping up was Friends are of the Devil by the Grateful Dead. Not really what I was looking for! The one I finally found...the one that I wanted is by Michael W. Smith "Friends"

I'd like to thank...

2009-09-21T09:31:00.000-07:00

I'd like to thank the academy, oh, I mean JennyMac for giving me a blogging award. She made me smile, which was much appreciated by my husband who is concerned by the thrust of hormones that hit me (and therefore hit him and the offspring) this weekend. So, thanks!

Wanna see what I got? Do ya?

Oh, ya! I give good blogs! SWEET! Aside from being a totally sexy award, I feel so privileged to be the recipient of any writing/blogging award. I was never a "writer" growing up and I love that now, when I don't have to get graded on my style and proper use of the English language, I am being recognized... (did that make any sense whatsoever? Well, it did in my messed-up mind).

So, the rule is that I need to pass it on to 4 other phenomenal bloggers. So, here it goes...

1. Sage @ Welcome to Sageville cuz could he be any greater? Love this country boy! And what makes it even better is it is Sage's birthday today. Just so you know- his blog is not G-rated or even PG-rated...

2. Missty @ Life Is Good! cuz she loves food...and she is funny...and I love this girl!

3. Betty @ My Life in a Multi-Level cuz I can always count on a good life. I totally relate to this girl, even with we aren't related (which is probably lucky for her since I have the curse).

4. Crash @ Crash Test Dummy Diaries cuz I have been following her for a long time and it never gets old. She is AWESOME! And what is even better is that she recently moved to my town... WOOHOO! (well, not for her since she moved here from Hawaii, but WOOHOO for me).

Well, there you go. Take your awards. Pass it on to 4 other bloggers, if you wish, or just put it up on your sidebar for you and others to admire. No need to pass it on if you don't wish. I am not the blogger-award-police.

Theme song- The Winner Is from the Little Miss Sunshine soundtrack.

That's my boy!

2009-09-18T14:39:00.000-07:00

My son came home from school today... he had a great smile on his face, as usual, cuz he is my son!

Anyway, while I was at the store earlier, picking up milk and some fruit I also picked up some suckers for the kids.

So, when he came home I hugged him and kissed him and whispered to him, "Mommy got a treat for you at the store."

His honest, open little handsome face lit up and said, "Cowboy boots?"

My little cowboy. Ya gotta love a boy who wants to be a cowboy...

Theme song? Mama, Don't Your Babies Grow Up To Be Cowboys by my man Willie.

Note to my daughter

2009-09-16T16:00:00.000-07:00

Dear UMM,

I am fully aware that your little body is growing. I know that your mind is growing. I know that right now you can't really read, which is okay since you are only 4. However, you should know enough by now to NOT do the following:

Put Bengay in your eyes. I know you thought it was lotion, but even lotion does not belong in your eyes.

Write on the outside of the house with a large permanent marker. I know your life-long dream is to be a gangsta-tagger, but let's wait until you can actually write words.
Play with your sister piggy bank. You know she is just gonna get mad and hit you and then I am going to have to intervene, which I really hate doing cuz that means I have to be the Mom.
Ask for a snack every 5 minutes. Again, I know your body is growing, but I don't have enough money to feed your every hunger pain. And really, it isn't hunger, it is boredom. Go play!

I'm sure that as each day goes by I am going to have to remind you of things. That is something moms do. But once more, let me tell you... Bengay will sting if you put it in your eyes. Yes, everytime. So don't do it again.

LOVE YA Sweet girl!

Your Patience-Challenged Mom!

(Part VII) Well?

2009-09-15T14:00:00.000-07:00

K- so remember I was over at FiM's apartment? We were having dinner? BBQ chicken and such.

FiM's roommates had helped him clean up the apartment. Made it look really nice. Candlelight dinner at the table. Lights are low. Soft music playing in the background. So romantic.

Okay, the dinner was fabulous. The conversation great. And then... FiM popped out of the room to "get ready". He came back in with a goofy cowboy hat (most cowboy hats are great- this was a goofy one, and he knew it!) and his guitar. At this point I am pretty embarrassed because he has gone to so much trouble to make this a special night. All his attention was on me and I wasn't used to that. It was so nice, though.

So, he sat down with his guitar and started playing and singing a song he wrote for me. Picture if you will (I love saying that, and if you can name what it is from you are my hero!) this sexy man, singing his heart out to me. It was a funny song, but serious too, because it was the actual proposal. Asking me to marry him. Kinda like the song from the Wedding Singer... the one that Adam Sandler sings to Drew Barrymore on the plane. (Coincidentally, that is today's theme song.) I really wish I had a video of him singing the song, even the words, but that was before I blogged and I wasn't great at taking pics. The gist of the song was about making me happy, doing all the wonderful things for me that I deserve, and then ended about being a great dad to our future offspring. It was so fun.

I actually do have pics from that night, somewhere, but remember my utter hatred for all things HP? Ya, my 3 in 1 POS (s stands for stupid junk) isn't working at all now. It is having electronic seizures. So, even if I knew where the pics were I wouldn't be adding them today because I'd have to scan them in, which is a total no-no until I replace my POS.

Back to my story- YEAH! We are officially engaged. Or at least we will be when I answer him. Ya, that's right. The song ended and I just stared at him, probably with a goofy grin on my face to match the goofy cowboy hat. He just stared back. Finally saying, "Well?" Oh no, the yes in my head didn't make it to my mouth.

"Yes, of course I will." Whew, that was close. Some great hugging and kissing went on after that, but I won't bore you with details. Suffice it to say, he has a goatee (even did back then) and I looked like a woman with major whisker burn!

k- So now we are engaged. Time to pick the date.

Double Duty Tuesday

2009-09-15T12:24:00.000-07:00

I will stop torturing you and will add the next part of my story later today. But I had to share this priceless moment I had with UMM just a few minutes ago.

While eating lunch the following conversation really happened...

Me: **sniff** Did you toot?

UMM: No, it just smells like it.

Me: I'm pretty sure you did. Can you not do that at the table?

UMM: I didn't. It just smells like it. It was you, Mommy.

Me: Um, nope. Sure wasn't.

UMM: Haahaa! It just smells like I tooted. (said with a BIG smile on her face)

Food, Friends and Fireside...

2009-09-14T15:49:00.001-07:00

Last week we had the great chance to get together with some AWESOME friends for dinner and a fireside at church. What do friends do when they get together?

Act weird, of course....

But really, we had a lot of FUN!

ps- no, I'm not pregnant and neither is anyone else in this pic... Don't ask or I might have to do some smacking.

Theme song- Good People by Jack Johnson

Can't take the credit...

2009-09-13T12:21:00.000-07:00

Can't take credit for the idea, but I would like to. It is actually all thanks to my 2 best friends- Laina and Shanna. They have put together a fun group for the food exchange. We each have one meal that we make so many of, then we get together and exchange. Since I had a lot of requests for the recipe and the idea I am putting all the recipes below. These are the ones we did this time. I was in charge of the Chicken and Dumplings. Even if you don't want to get your own group together to do this (which I highly recommend you all do!) the recipes are really good. Even if you have your own recipes pretty much any of them will work because you use the meals within a month of being in the freezer. One thing- potatoes don't work so well so if you want to do a recipe with potatoes, just delete that when doing the cooking and then add them in when you are ready to warm the meal up for dinner. Just a thought. Oh, and the girls put together a list of "rules" too that was a BIG help this time...

THANKS Laina and Shanna for helping to make sure my family is fed. I'm sure Dalen would like to thank you too because this means less meals for him to have to fix when I don't get around to making dinner before I leave for work.

Chicken & Dumplings

Chicken (breasts, thighs or tenders)
2 cans cream of chicken soup
1 can (11 oz) milk
1 onion, quartered
1 cup baby carrots
3 stalks celery, cut to desired size
1 tsp salt
1 tsp poultry seasoning
pepper
2 cans biscuit dough

Place items in a crockpot. Cook for 3-4 hours on high or for 7-8 hours on low.

Cool, pour into bags and freeze. When thawed add biscuits and bake at 350 for 30 minutes.

Chili Burgers

1 lb ground beef

1 can kidney beans rinsed and drained

1 can tomato soup

1 c chopped celery

½ c chopped onion

¼ c ketchup

1 T brown sugar

1 tsp chili powder

½ tsp ground mustard

½ tsp salt

¼ tsp pepper

1/8 tsp cayenne pepper

1/8 tsp garlic powder

Brown hamburger. In saucepan, add beans, soup, celery, onion, ketchup, brown sugar and seasonings. Bring to a boil. Reduce heat; cover and simmer 30-40 min until veggies are tender.

Freeze. To reheat, thaw and put in crock pot until hot. Serve on Kaiser Rolls or hamburger buns.

Sticky Chicken

1 ½ lb. skinless, boneless chicken, in chunks

1 c. Russian dressing

1 c. apricot or pineapple jam

1 onion, cut in chunks

1 green pepper, cut in chunks

Combine all ingredients in frying pan. Bring to boil, then simmer for 15-20 minutes depending on size of chicken pieces. Or (mixture can be baked at 350 degrees for about 30 min). Cool, pour into bags and freeze. When thawed simmer until warmed and serve over steamed rice.

Green Chile

1 lb pork roast or chops

14 oz Chicken Broth

1 med Onion Chopped

1 8 oz can green chilies diced

1 whole jalapeño chopped with seeds (for more kick!)

1 tsp Garlic salt with black pepper

2 Tbs flour dissolved in chicken broth

2 chopped up cloves of garlic

Toppings

Cheese, lettuce, tomato, olives, sour cream, or anything else!

I crock-pot this recipe and use it for 2 meals. (Freezing one of course!)

Cook on low all day about an hour.

Put meat into taco or use for nachos.

Just pull out of freezer the night before and place in fridge. May reheat

on the stovetop or the crock-pot.

Ham and Swiss Quiche

1 1/3 cups bisquick 1 c. (4oz) shredded Swiss cheese, divided
1 c. finely chopped cooked ham
2 green onions, sliced
1 can evaporated milk
3 large eggs

1/4 tsp salt
1/8 tsp pepper

Instructions:

sprinkle 1/2 c. cheese, ham and green onions. - in a bowl, whisk together evap. milk, eggs, flour, salt and pepper - pour mixture into pie shell. Sprinkle with remaining cheese.
Cool, pour into bags and freeze. When thawed, bake at 325 for 45 minutes.

Bake for 45-50 minutes or until knife inserted near center comes out clean.

Meatballs

Prep time: 20 min.

Total time: 38 min.

Makes: 8 servings, 4 meatballs each

WHAT YOU NEED

2 lb ground beef

1 pkg (6 oz) stove top stuffing for chicken

1 1/4 cups water

2 eggs

1. Heat oven to 400. Line 2 (15x10x1 inch) pans with foil; spray with cooking spray. Mix ingredients until blended; shape into 32 (1 1/2 inch) balls, using 1/4 cup for each.

2. Place 16 meatballs in each prepared pan. Bake 16 to 18 min. or until done (160 F)

3. Combine half the meatballs with tomato-Basil cream sauce. Cool remaining meatballs; freeze for later use.

Taco Soup

1 lb ground beef

1 (15 oz) can kidney beans

1 (15 oz) can pinto beans

1 (15 oz) can corn, drained

1 (15 oz) can diced tomatoes...I use diced tomatoes with green chili

1 pkg taco seasoning

1 can green chilies, diced...if not using diced tomatoes with green chili

2 tsp red chili powder

1 1/2 cup water

salt and pepper

Cool, pour into bags and freeze. When thawed, warm in pot and serve.

Lasagna

10 to 12 lasagna noodles

Spaghetti Sauce

1 16 ounce cottage cheese

½ cup parmesan

2 slightly beaten eggs

½ teaspoon basil

1 teaspoon parsley flakes

¼ teaspoon pepper

2 cups grated mozzarella

Prepare lasagna noodles as directed on the package; drain and set aside. Mix cottage cheese, parmesan, eggs, basil, parsley flakes and pepper. In pan layer 5 noodles, spaghetti sauce, ½ of the cottage cheese mixture. 5 noodles, spaghetti sauce and then the mozzarella. Label and freeze

Cook at 350 for 1 hr.

Ham Chowder

2 cups, cooked diced ham

1 cup onion chopped

1 cup celery chopped

1 cup grated carrots chopped

¾ cup butter

¾ cup flour

1 ½ tsp salt

2 Tbsp. red wine vinegar

2 cups half & half

2 cups milk

Boil ham & vegetables in water and ham drippings (enough water to cover the vegetables plus about 2 cups).

Melt butter, add flour and whisk until smooth. Add salt, vinegar, milk and half & half. Stir until smooth and it is thickening. Add to vegetable mixture and heat until thick and bubbly.

Pour into freezer bag. Label and freeze. When thawed, heat through on stovetop and enjoy!

Cream Cheese Chicken

2 ½ cups cooked, diced chicken

1 can cream of chicken soup

1 8 oz sour cream

1 8 oz cream cheese

1 cup milk

1 packet good seasons Italian seasoning mix

Combine all ingredients except chicken. Heat and stir until smooth. Add chicken and heat through. Pour into freezer bag. Label and freeze. When thawed, heat through on stovetop and serve over rice or noodles.

Poppy seed Chicken

-6 chicken breasts

-1 large can cream of chicken soup (2 small)

-1 cup sour cream

-11/2 stacks of ritz crackers (crushed)

-11/2 cubes of butter

-11/2 tablespoons of poppy seeds

-Boil chicken and cut up into chunks

-place in the bottom of a greased casserole dish

-mix soup, sour cream on stove to warm, mix well then pour over the chicken

-melt the butter and stir into crushed crackers, add poppy seeds and mix together

-spread the cracker mixture over the chicken

-bake at 350 for 30 minutes

Creamy One-Pot Pasta

1 Tbsp. oil

2 large garlic clove

5 ¼ cups chicken broth

1 lb uncooked penne pasta

1 head broccoli (2 cups small florets)

2 medium carrots, peeled

8 oz. cream cheese

¼ tsp. salt

½ tsp coarsely ground black pepper

Grated fresh Parmesan cheese

Place garlic and oil into 8 qt. stockpot. Cook garlic over medium heat for 2-3 minute or until garlic is golden brown, stirring occasionally. Remove from heat; add broth. Return to burner; increase heat to high. Cover and bring to boil. Stir in pasta, cover and simmer vigorously 8-10 minutes or until pasta is almost cooked but still firm (stir occasionally).

Meanwhile cut broccoli . Cut carrots in half lengthwise, then slice crosswise.

Cut cream cheese into cubes.

Add vegetables to pasta and boil another 2 minutes. Add cream cheese, salt and pepper to pasta. Stir until cream cheese in melted and incorporated. Reduce heat and cover. Continue cooking 2-4 minutes until vegetables are tender.

Cool, pour into bags and freeze. When thawed, bake at 325 for 45 minutes.

Almost Ravioli

1 pound ground beef

1 onion, chopped

1 clove of garlic, minced

8 ounces bowtie pasta

4 c. spaghetti sauce

1 c. tomato sauce

1/4 t. pepper

2 T. sugar

1 (10 ounce) pkg. frozen chopped spinach

1 c. cottage cheese

2 eggs, slightly beaten

1/2 c. freshly grated Parmesan cheese

Brown ground beef with onion. Cook bowtie pasta in salted water for half the time recommended on package. Combine ground beef, pasta, and all remaining ingredients. Place in gallon freezer bag. Label and freeze.

To serve: Thaw. Place in greased baking dish. Stir. Place baking dish on a baking sheet. Bake uncovered for 45 minutes at 350. Top with more grated Parmesan cheese.

No theme song for today. It's all about the cooking!

Taking a break

2009-09-11T14:47:00.001-07:00

I know you have all come here today, thinking you were going to read the next part in our ongoing saga. Not so. Don't hate me. I can only handle so much mushy in a week.

Actually, I just had to take a quick break to show you all what my kitchen looked like yesterday...

This is afterwards... dreading the cleanup...

Someone want to come do my dishes for me???

For those wonderful friends who let me borrow the crockpots- I swear, they will be clean!

I was up past 4am letting the food cool enough to put in ziplock bags to freeze. So in honor of my all-night cooking fest the theme song is "All Night Long" by Lionel Ritchie.

(Part VI) Let's Get Married

2009-09-10T02:00:00.000-07:00

It was a busy day... back off! Finally got the holy piece of crap (otherwise known as HP 3 in 1) to save my scans!

Now that we are back to our regularly scheduled program... are you ready for part 6?

Okay, so now that we have OFFICIALLY kissed, remember... he made me wait a whole month (and then I made him wait 3 days, but come on, it was only fair, right?).

So, we had a lot of fun over the next month. Lots of kissing. L.O.T.S! T.O.N.S! Couldn't help it. We loved kissing each other. We also loved talking. During this time we talked a lot too. And then kissed. And then talked some more. And then kissed some more.

For months (even before we started dating) we had been talking about going to California, a group of us, staying with my parents and heading to Disneyland. Over time that trip evolved.

A month after our first kiss we made our way down to SoCal for Disneyland, but also for a very special event. I know, you are thinking I'm crazy, and I'm not going to argue with you on that one. It was time for the classic- "asking future FIL for permission to marry his daughter." Ya, it was quick, but remember, we spent everyday (just about) together even before we dated. We saw each other sick. We saw each other with our respective (but not quite respectable) families. We saw each other through the highs and the lows, and even then we still wanted to date each other. That's saying something.

So, we went to Disneyland.

Me, FiM and my little Bro.

Back in the day I had a little more time, so I was a scrapbooking maniac. These are a couple of pages I made of the trip.

Disneyland was a blast. We really had a great time with each other, FiM's friend Toby (AKA What's his bucket) and my Bro, Dave.

We spent I think 3 days there. FiM (previously known as Cute Big Jerk Guy) waited until the very last night to ask my Dad for a private meeting. Mom and I were sitting in the livingroom. It wasn't until 2 hours later that Mom and I realized Dad and FiM were still in the kitchen have a little chat. Once I realized this, though, I was nervous. What is going on? About a half an hour later they made their way into the livingroom to rejoin us. FiM had the "Deer in the headlights" look mixed with a plastered "I need to smile because I am supposed to be happy" look. Dad was happy, slapped FiM on the back and the evening was over at that point.

It wasn't until later that I was told by FiM that the 2 1/2 hour conversation was basically one sided, with Dad telling him a lot about being married and what he expected of FiM. The one quote, though, that is forever engraved in his mind-

"A son is a son until he is wed. A daughter is a daughter until she is dead."

Now, I am pretty sure it was at that point that the fear of God entered into FiM, knowing that if he didn't do right by me he would be the one to wind up dead...or something like that. What it really came down to was the fact that FiM was granted permission, and given my Dad's blessing. One reason (aside from the fact that my Dad clicked with FiM right off the bat) was that although I was the 4th daughter to get married, my now fiancee was the first one to ask his permission. Such a suck-up. I do have to say that I told FiM he needed to do this, but I am almost positive he would have done it anyway. He is a gentleman like that.

I'm still shocked that he didn't run from the house screaming an hour into the "conversation."

The official asking for my hand in marriage came on April 17th. FiM made a nice dinner (BBQ chicken- yum!). Wanna know what comes next?

Stop by tomorrow. (Quit your whining.)

Theme song- in honor of part of my post being about Disneyland here is When You Wish Upon A Star.

SO SORRY

2009-09-08T16:21:00.000-07:00

I have my post for the next installment of our love story, BUT (and this is a big but) I have pics even! BUT, I have a RETARDED scanner. I have never told you my hatred for HP products. That is for another time. Needless to say, I am holding off on publishing my next installment until I can figure out WTFreak is going on with the dumb thing. For now- I'll leave you with this pic...

Ya, that's my butt, to go with the BIG BUT that I began the post with.

THE END! (Literally)

Theme song- I Like Big Butts by Sir Mix-a-lot

NEWS ALERT

2009-09-07T21:20:00.000-07:00

I'm interrupting our regularly scheduled program to bring you this EMERGENCY NEWS FLASH.

Couple found in room, Have been there for years, Have NEVER left...

A Utah couple was discovered in their bedroom after years of being in there. When the couple was asked why they never left their room they stated, "All we needed was in here."

Apparently the couple was given a used, but nice fridge (for free I might add) and the only place they could fit it, because of the odd design of the house, was in the master bedroom.

A short time later the couple, who had previously been against a television in their bedroom, decided to add a wall-mounted flat screen. (who needs those pics of the kids anyway- we see their faces all the time)

The bed was already a permanent fixture in the room, useful for such things as sleeping and, you know, marital relations, so with all of these pleasures, who needed to leave?

The couple, who has 4 children, would make the kids do slave labor so they didn't have to leave. The local authorities are in a quandary as to whether or not they should file child-neglect charges. The D.A.'s only comment was, "Heck, if it was me, I'd have done the same thing. Good for them."

Well folks, there you have it.

Oh, and just before the time of this posting the author discovered that the mother was the president of the national "NPSA" group. Good for her!

Theme song- Love is All You Need by the Beatles... (love and a fridge and tv in your room)

(Part V) I kiss you not

2009-09-04T10:16:00.000-07:00

I totally wasn't lying (or joking for that matter) when I told you Cute, Big Jerk Guy didn't kiss me that night. In fact the next day at the end of our "date" (which was a long walk and hanging out in the park) he went in for the hug again. Okay, this has to stop. I don't mind the hug, but if any of you know me you are fully aware that I.LOVE.TO.KISS!

So, I pulled back after the very nice hug and looked at him. I hadn't been too shy about things up to this point, so I figured why not-

Me "Are you gonna kiss me?"

Him "No."

Me "No, seriously, I want you to."

Him "I know. I want to, too."

Me "K, then kiss me."

Him "I can't."

Me "Sure you can. You have 2 lips, I have 2 lips. All we have to do is move closer until they touch."

Him "I know how it works. I just can't right now."

Me "That makes NO sense."

Him "I have always rushed into relationships and I want this to be right between us. I want to wait and make sure it really means something between you and me."

Me "Trust me, it will mean something."

Him "I just can't. Sorry." ***

So, over the next MONTH (yes I said month, one whole month. That is 1/12 of a year. 30 days. 288 hours. 17280 minutes. 1,036,800 seconds.) he didn't kiss me. Nope. Not even a peck.

I am sure some of you think he was noble. I just thought it was harsh. And I told him so. I even told him that when the time came when he really wanted to kiss me- he was going to have to ask me.

Finally after 28 days of waiting he walked me to my door and asked if he could kiss me. "Nope. You are tired. You have made me wait this long, I want it to be memorable for you."

The next night he asked me again. "Nope. I'm not really feeling it today."

So, on March 15 (which was the 3rd day) we were chillin' at his apartment. He was getting ready for our date. I was watching tv in the livingroom with his roommates. He called me back to his room to help me choose a shirt for our date. As I was walking back to the livingroom he grabbed my hand (I was in the hallway- not in his room people). He turned me around and asked if he could kiss me. Again I said No. How mean am I? Well, I thought he was pretty mean for making me wait this long. I needed to have a little control with the situation. As I sat there with his roommates I couldn't get my mind thinking about anything but kissing him. So I made my move. He was in the bathroom, just brushed his teeth. Perfect, he was minty fresh. This is how it went down.

Me "If we are going to do this we need to do it now." (Right here- in the bathroom.)

Him "Okay." (Smiling)

We both leaned in and it was a VERY nice kiss. Very nice until he started laughing. I.KID.YOU.NOT! He laughed. (In his words he "giggled" because he was so happy.) HE LAUGHED! The kiss was obviously over at that point so I walked back to the livingroom. I was humiliated. Totally embarrassed. How could he laugh?

Not 2 minutes later he came to the front room, ready to go, took my hand and we were out the door. I think the rest of the night was pretty much all kissing- no laughing this time. It was so nice. Especially since he didn't laugh.

Theme song- Then He Kissed Me by the Crystals. I LOVE THIS SONG!

Oh, and pictures will be coming. We just don't have documentation (photos) until we got en-gag-ed.

***This conversation is 90% fiction. I did ask him why he wouldn't kiss me and the reason was what he told me. The rest, ya, that's how it played out in my mind.***

(Part IV) First Date and all that jazz

2009-09-02T14:56:00.000-07:00

Double date ended up being a group date.

Went to eat at Chili's**. Cute, Big Jerk Guy was such a gentleman. Held my chair for me, helped me take my coat off... the works. We sat across from each other so we could talk more easily. The conversation was great. It was a lot of fun. We both had the chicken caesar salad. Don't ask why. No, I wasn't trying to be dainty. I happen to really like a good salad. If you have ever seen me eating salad (essentially cow food) you would know that I am anything but dainty. Picture a cow chewing grass... there you go.

After dinner the group headed over to the local theater to see Life Is Beautiful. Fabulous movie, but uber depressing. Oh, and you have to have your reading glasses on because it is an Italian movie- all subtitles. Woohoo!

Feeling all tingly and good inside after such inspiration from the movie (I jest) we headed back to Cute, Big Jerk Guy's house (which he shared with a few other guys) and sat around talking. Everyone found a place to sit.

Everyone but me a Cute, Big Jerk Guy. So, we sat on the floor and visited with each other while the rest of the group talked and played games. I doubt they even realized we were not in on the conversation. Then again, they probably were aware, we just weren't really aware of them. At one point Cute, Big Jerk Guy reached over and put his hand on mine.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Ya, that was my heart screaming for joy. Who knew that a simple gesture like taking my hand would send me into arrhythmia? I am getting all tingly just remembering the feeling. We held hands the rest of the night. I am pretty sure I had the biggest, cheesiest grin on my face too.

We actually did have to end the evening, so Cute, Big Jerk Guy took me home in his really cute, but very worn out red car. He opened the door for me. Walked me to the front door. Hugged me.

And...

Nothing. Said goodnight and walked back to his car. We had plans to see each other the next day. And I have EVERY intention of asking why I did not get a goodnight kiss.

Theme song- Kiss me by Harry Connick Jr. great song!
Just FYI- I have heard from a few of y'all that you aren't fans of having the music auto-play. So, since it really is for me, I turned it off. If you want to hear it (which I highly recommend) you are gonna have to push play.

** I later found out that Cute, Big Jerk Guy is NOT a fan of Chili's. Don't look at me- I didn't choose the joint. We could have gone anywhere.

(Part III) And then we....Dated????

2009-09-01T13:56:00.000-07:00

We were both in agreement... We were both Hot and totally interested in the other person. What now?

Well, we decided to date- exclusively. We both felt that if it was right then we would know fairly quickly. Why fool around with others when we are interested in a serious relationship? So we are going to date.

So, I waited...

And waited...

And waited some more.

For 4 days I waited for him to ACTUALLY ASK ME ON A DATE. Just because we were "dating" - that doesn't negate the actual need to ASK me on an actual date! Apparently there was a double date planned with his friend, Joe- remember him???? He had asked my friend Emily on a date and she said she would if I went along with a date. (see, she wasn't that into him and she thought a double date would be easier/more comfortable.) But, Cute, Big Jerk Guy hadn't asked me yet.

Thursday, I finally gave up on the quest for him to ask me on a date. The conversation went something like this---->

Me "What are you doing on Tomorrow night?"

Him "Going on a date with you."

Me "Too late, I already asked you."

Him "Ummm, ok."

Me "And when we get married and have kids I am going to tell them that I asked you on our first date."

Him "Ummm, ok."

Heehee!

Theme song- Short Skirts and Long Jacket by Cake- popular back then.

(Part II) This is just the beginning

2009-08-31T12:46:00.000-07:00

Yes, you read right... he was visiting his girlfriend who lived up north. MAN! That totally put a damper on my ideas, because I had every intention of pursuing Cute, Big Jerk Guy

Back to the drawing board for me.

A few weeks later Sister and I went to another church activity. This time it was a dance. Totally fun. I am all about dancing. There were a few guys there that were phenomenal dancers, and I kind of gravitated toward them. The only reason I tell you this is because I hooked up with a guy at that activity, who my bishop later set me up with on a date. Good intentions, I thought I really liked him, but that was a flop. Ya, he told me he was interested in a serious relationship, but he happened to tell a few other girls at church the same thing. He was juggling 4 of us at once. Not my idea of a serious relationship.

I had a few other relationships over the next few months, but nothing really came of any of them.

Fast forward to December...

Sister and I got a call from the Cute, Big Jerk Guy. He needed us to help out at another church activity. ANYTHING for the Cute, Big Jerk Guy (who really was not much of a jerk). After said activity he came back to my apartment with a friend of his and Sister and I had fun visiting. That was the beginning of the every-day-come-over-to-see-me trend. Seriously, he was over everyday. I loved it. This totally hot guy was coming over to visit with me and my sister. Little did I know at this point that his friend has called "DIBS" on me. Cute, Big Jerk Guy agreed not to pursue, why would he? He still had a girlfriend (or so I thought).

After coming back from Christmas Break Cute, Big Jerk Guy came over with his friend to visit. His friend, Joe, asked me out. WHAT? Not him... I didn't want him to ask me out. I wanted Cute, Big Jerk Guy to ask me out, but I knew he was taken... That is when I found out that over Christmas Break Cute, Big Jerk Guy made the break. He dumped the girl. WOOHOO! But not so much since it was pretty obvious Joe liked me and it is kinda rude to jones on a friend.

After one date, though, Joe got the hint and realized how much I dug on Cute, Big Jerk Guy. Joe, being a genius at helping others with their relationship woes called up Cute, Big Jerk Guy and said something like, "You like her, she likes you. If you don't do something about it she is going to get tired of this and give up." BRILLIANCE! This phone call happened to be the night of my birthday party (Ya, I threw myself a big party- my way of trying to be happy when I was sad not to be getting the guy I was really interested in). The party was great. Cute, Big Jerk Guy showed up for a little bit, but then left. Sucky because I was left to dance with the 4-timing ex. who wouldn't leave the party. I did have a lot of fun, though. Getting that phone call was the BEST EVER, though. We agreed to meet up the next day at my place after he got off of work.

The next morning Sister and my roommate decided to go snowboarding. Usually I was up for this, especially since it was a holiday and no school. I hadn't told them about my scheduled meeting with Cute, Big Jerk Guy and thought maybe it wasn't the right time to tell them since I really didn't know what the outcome of said meeting was going to be. They tried to convince me to go with them. Great day for boarding. They were even going to spring for the cost. How is a girl supposed to turn that down? I'll tell you how- the thought of having a private meeting with Cute, Big Jerk Guy helped me stick to my guns. I was staying home.

Got all my homework done waiting for Cute, Big Jerk Guy to come over. When I finally heard the knock my heart skipped a beat. Actually, I think it just stopped. I had to give myself CPR just to get it started again. I opened the door and their stood my Adonis. Yummy! He came in and we kicked back in the living room. Started to chat about his day at work. Finally, he looked over at me and said, "Well, enough about me...What do you think of me?" I smiled and said, "I think you're HOT!" I actually said that. Can you believe it???

His reaction? While I was busy being beet red he looked at me and said, "I think you're hot too." At least we are in agreement.

To Be Continued...

Theme song- the song I played at my party that reminded me of Cute, Big Jerk Guy. Back to Good by Matchbox 20.

(Part I) In the Beginning

2009-08-27T14:09:00.000-07:00

I really wanted pictures for this post, but I didn't have a chance to scan some in. Ya, we met back in the day of real film cameras. *gasp*

You asked for it, so here is part one. If you know some of this story just bear with me.

I moved to Utah (Provo to be exact) 5 weeks after returning home from serving a Mormon mission in Idaho. (Can you believe I was called to go to such an exotic place?) I moved in with my fabulous sister, who was attending BYU. I wasn't starting school until the winter semester, but after having lived away from home for 4 years I wasn't about to live at home again. (Did that make sense?)

My first Monday in Provo my sister and I went to a church activity (FHE- for those who speak Mormon). As we pulled up to the house where the activity was being held (for young single adults) my sister noticed a guy walking up to the door. Since she had already been living there she knew the guy, at least a little. She pointed to him and told me something like, "That guy is so cute." I looked over and there really was a cute guy. It only made me that much more excited to get inside for the activity.

That night, after a quick religious message, we played games and mingled. Sister and I had a chance to mozy on over to the cute guy and introduce ourselves. That was about it, but man, I felt some sparkage going on.

About a month later, at a similar activity (FHE again) we were carving pumpkins. My sister and I sat down next to the cute guy we had met the month before and started working on our pumpkins. The cute guy was working on one himself, so we started conversing, just the 3 of us. It was a lot of fun. I learned he was a very talented artist. His pumpkin ROCKED!

After said activity the group all decided to head over to BYU's famous Creamery for some well-deserved ice-cream.

My sister and I both chose an ice cream sundae- yummy! (doesn't that sound good?) Standing behind us in line, waiting to pay was the cute guy. Sister and I looked back and smiled. Then the bomb dropped...

Cute guy smiled, looked at us, looked at our ice-cream and said, "You guys are eating that? Do you know how many calories are in that?"

Translation into woman language- "You are fat and really shouldn't be eating that." Since I am a woman, I heard the female translation and dropped my face. Did this jerk really insinuate I was fat???? I know I still have a few extra pounds from the mission, but seriously, what jerk says that to a girl????

Cute, now big jerk guy kept on munching on his ice-cream, smiling, so proud of himself. (I am supposed to tell you at this point that he was smiling because he was eating the same thing as we were and he thought he was being funny.)

After paying for out goods Sister and I had to leave because we worked together at a graveyard custodial job (very fashionable college job). As we were walking to our car Cute, Big Jerk Guy said goodbye and then said, "Don't forget to hit the treadmills."

That was IT! This was WAR! She and I divided and conquerred. He ran back in. I took one door, Sister took the other and we found him "hiding" at the counter eating away. We both took a slug at his arm and left to take our rotund bodies to work.

Early the next morning, after work, we returned to our apartment to a very sweet message from Cute, Big Jerk Guy apologizing to us. He really felt comfortable with us after the pumpkin carving so he thought he could joke with us but realized it probably came off totally rude. Isn't that sweet?

Sister and I devised a brilliant plan. We made brownies and took them over to his house the next afternoon, inviting him to "get fat" with us. That is when we found out that he was out of town visiting his girlfriend for the rest of the week.

WHAT? A girlfriend? Crap.

To Be Continued...

Oh, and the theme song for today- Eve 6's Inside Out, which was popular back when we first met. (suggested by FiM)

ps the FiM is going to have to be revealed later in the story because it fits. Keep coming up with ideas. I'm still curious as to what you think.

Duh!

2009-08-26T14:07:00.000-07:00

I guess I have never told y'all about how Hubby and I met. I think I am going to give him a different name on my blog, just so you know. From here on out he will forever be known as FiM. What does it mean? I'm gonna let y'all guess and then I will tell you tomorrow. Curious to know what you really think.

THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU for all of your suggestions. I know that with my family curse and all, me actually admitting to being at a loss for blog topics is begging the universe to kick my in the backside, push me to the ground, step on my, pull my hair then spit in my face, but I can't take it back now. Thanks Nutty Hampster Chick for pointing that out. Next time you need to tell me this BEFORE I post it.

It's kind of like praying for more patience, right? You ask for patience and you are given more trials in which you need patience. My question- how is that exactly supposed to work?

Back to my topic. Beginning tomorrow you are all going to be gifted with the story of me and FiM. It isn't even Christmas yet. Not on the calendars, but here is it always Christmas. I am always a giver. (keep nodding your heads, just humor me, k?) I am going to have to tell it in a series because there is actually a lot to it. Ya, the short of it is we met, fell in love and got married. But how did we meet? I'll tell you. How did we fall in love? I'm here with the answer. When did we fall in love? Yup, there's another question I will bestow the answer upon you. And finally, I will give you all the gory, lovely, hideous, romantic details of our en-gag-ment and wedding. Finally, I am going to end with what I like to call, "If I could have done it different, here's what it would be..."

Did I wet your appetites for more? Sure hope so. Hope to see you all back here tomorrow and for the next week.

And, so as not to disappoint you, YES, I will be putting in more embarrassing moments from my life. I wasn't kidding when I said I am a walking embarrassment ready to happen.

For today's theme song I randomly went to my iTunes and hit shuffle. Then I hit forward until I hit a song I was inspired to play for you. Ya, that's cheating, I know. Maybe I should have let it be the first song, but I wasn't really in the mood for the first 4 songs that came up. That's when Willie Nelson's "Mama, don't let your babies grow up to be cowboys" came on and I knew it was the right choice. Enjoy!

I need some inspiration

2009-08-25T11:37:00.000-07:00

Today I am going to start off my post by telling you what the theme song is. You really shouldn't be too surprised since hopefully you read the title. You're the Inspiration by Chicago. Wait for it... it takes you back doesn't it? Dates me, eh? I have great memories of this song...

David Roper

Grandma's birthday party

Uncle Dean's car

Me, looking at David, swooning.

Me, thinking this song was all about us.

Me- I was like 12 or something. Ya, I was deep back then.

So, the reason for the song- I am needing some inspiration. That's where you come in. I need some help on this one. I am out of topics.

I am sure that my crazy offspring can help me with this one, but for once I really would like to have a boring, nothing exciting week. Nothing to blog about that happens. Yesterday filled my quota of excitement.

Okay, so what do you want to know about me? What do you want me to write about? Do you have random questions? I'll help you out. If I can't, I'll just lie. Maybe I'll convince you I know what I am doing here.

Are you game? Leave a comment. I need lots of ideas...

Thanks (in advance). I know you won't let me down.

Why Would I Make This Up?

2009-08-24T12:49:00.000-07:00

You all remember MMIT, right? My Mischief Maker In Training. The youngest. The light in my life. My miracle baby.

Since the older offspring are in school now I get to focus on my baby. Or rather, she gets to run wild while I do other things, not having to entertain my older children.

I have been wanting to work on potty training this lovely little girl for a while. Diapers are expensive! So, what better time than now? We started last week, and as of today she has only managed to pee in the toilet once. She loves the panties! Really she does, but not enough to not use them like she would a diaper. Sad thing for mom is that panties don't contain like diapers do.

I can hear you all saying right now- She isn't ready. Ya, I know. Maybe I'm not ready to give it my all, but I really don't want to buy diapers anymore. I keep thinking that the light will turn on and she will magically know how it's done.

Now, today--->

I was visiting the blogosphere when I hear this-

UMM- "Mom, Malia just peed her panties."

Mom- "Where is she?"

UMM- "On the counter getting fruit snacks."

I raced into the kitchen. Yup, there she was in all her peed on glory. Reaching for a fruit snack. Pee trickling down her leg. And what was that I smelled? CRAP! Literally.

For most of you this would only be a matter of bleaching your counter or tearing it out to put a new one in. My problem is that I am not the best housekeeper. I have a stack of mail on my counter. It is also the catch-all for my kids. Don't know where it goes? Let's put it on the counter.

Not only did MMIT soil my counter, but she also soiled my mail. Who needs to look through bills anyway?

Bill Collector- "Ma'am (I hate being called Ma'am, just so you know), why is your payment late?"

Me- "My daughter peed on my bills."

Hey, that's better than my dog ate it. And it's more believable, right?

So, now I have to go through my pile, throw away the gross stuff, clean off the counter, and rerun the dishwasher. Oh, did I fail to mention the CLEAN dishes were in full shot of the flowing pee? Ya, my dishwasher was open, airing off so I could have one of my offspring empty it later. Now it is going to have to be much later since I am rerunning it and the dishes will be wet again.

You all are jealous of my life. (I have to tell myself that or I would probably hide in my closet, rocking myself back and forth, murmuring something incoherent.)

Theme song- Parents just don't understand by the Fresh Prince (aka Will Smith, back in the day)

What would you do...

2009-08-20T12:41:00.000-07:00

For a Klondike Bar?

I'll tell you what I would do...

I would do my kids' homework.
I would clean my toilet (ya, I have to be bribed to do this one).
I would force myself to sit through 4 episodes of Hannah Montana (but that is my limit).
I would let my friends take me out on their boat (Ya, I'd suffer for some ice cream).
I would not shower (but only for 1 day- after that, it isn't really worth it).
Sleep in late (isn't that good of me?).

Things I would NOT do, even for a Klondike Bar...

Lay off of Facebook (even for a day).
Stop blogging.
Give up chocolate.
Get up early.

Sorry, no NPSA meeting today. I am basking in the glory of school and can't think of anything really to rag on myself for today. I mean, really, I played FB games and slept in. I am working hard on my list from yesterday, so I feel really good about myself.

To top it off I am making my famous cookies as I type. Multi-tasking! I am so talented!

If you want some cookies you better get over here. (Or if you leave a nice comment to me I will send the recipe to you.) Seriously, they are famous!

Theme Song- Just a fun one that I totally love- Going with the song from yesterday- COOL RIDER from Grease 2.

My To Do List for the School Year

2009-08-20T07:17:00.000-07:00

These days I'm all about the list. My sister and I were talking and she suggested that I make lists each day so I can get things done. No matter how small a detail (like get dressed) add it to the list and I will be able to see all that I have accomplished. So, now that the school year is FINALLY here I thought I'd make a list of what I plan to accomplish. Keep in mind this is just a rough draft. I will be adding more as the school year progresses and I figure out how I really want to be spending my time.

Play TONS of Facebook games.
Sleep in.
Blog more frequently.
Create more embarrassing moments to blog about (this one shouldn't be too hard for me).
Take my kids to school in my pajamas.
Wax more often.
Perfect my Sudoku skills.
Figure out why my toilet makes a gurgling sound.
Download more songs on my iPod.
Prove the DaVinci Code is true!
Watch some seriously great chick flicks.
De-crap my house.
Whiten my teeth.
Visualize a skinnier me (cuz that is probably as close to skinny as I'll ever get).
Don't get pregnant.
Make at least one meal a day for my family.

I think that is enough for now. I don't want to make my list to long and set myself up for failure. I am lowering my expectations, that way I won't be disappointed.

Theme Song- Back to School, Again from Grease 2 Soundtrack!

Is it possible????

2009-08-19T15:17:00.000-07:00

Can an already insane person have a complete breakdown??? Cuz I am on the edge, and I'm about to tip over into the abyss of insanity (again).

Summer is almost over, the kids are going to be in school again (thank heaven!!!), and it came just in the nick of time. I only have one nerve left and it is starting to fizzle.

Here is a glimpse into my insane world...

Wait Mommy, this doesn't smell like the head...

What the what??? All of this can be yours. Simply neglect to pull the bottom drawer of your oven out and clean under it for 4 years. Pretty simple. (simply disgusting)

Does this look like the face of sanity? I didn't think so.

One of my highest goals in life is to look like we live in a trailer park. Check that one off of my list. Thanks to my half nekked son for running around outside with only a shirt and underwear on.

She was the first to fall asleep at the party. We stuck her diaper in the freezer since she isn't big enough for a bra. Don't worry, it wasn't a messy diaper.

Right back at ya fella.

Theme song- Ding Dong the Witch is Dead from the Wizard of Oz. Hopefully with my kids back in school my witchy side will disappear, to be replaced by a more efficient, patient, loving me. (Don't hold your breath, though.)

It was only a dream

2009-08-18T12:52:00.000-07:00

Imagine the Wayne's World dream sequence blurry screen.

I took my kids to the beach. It was more like a river-type beach. Having a great time. I trusted my kids enough to not make them wear life jackets or floaties. I'm such a great mom, I know.

As I'm watching them I keep my eye on their heads and make sure that I know where they each are.

All of a sudden my baby, MMIT is nowhere to be found. I start screaming and looking around. Other people come to help but we have no luck. She isn't there.

By this time I am crying hysterically, yet I feel numb. My baby is gone. What have I done? I let this happen.

I won't give up, though. I have friends who won't give up, so we search for hours, up and down the river.

I look over to my left and see my friend dragging my Fully-dressed baby out of the water, face down. I scream, I know she is gone, but I hope.

Then, my baby turns her head and smiles at me. She is okay. I run to her, grab her, and continue to cry until I wake up.

Dream sequence over.

Tell me this... would you take your kids the beach anytime soon after this dream? Should it tell me something that while I was going through trauma my baby ended it with smiling at me?

Theme song- Just a dream by Carrie Underwood.

Like mother like daughter

2009-08-17T13:40:00.000-07:00

I'm just so proud. Yes, my baby is like her momma. Maybe I should be sad for her.

Anyway, this morning I got woken up (poor English- deal with it) by sticky hands. The kids had waffles while I slept. Malia is like her mom in that she does not like to be sticky or dirty. So, onto my bed she climbed to let me know that she was sticky and I needed to fix it.

Really, there was so much sticky that only a bath would fix the problem. I needed to get up anyway, so I grabbed my essentials and headed into the bathroom with baby to take a shower.

Don't judge me. She's only 2 and I don't think she is going to be anymore traumatized than she already is by being my daughter.

Once we were all clean we hopped out of the shower (actually I creaked out because I don't really do much hopping these days) and wrapped ourselves in towels. I know I am not the only one who does this, but before I get all wrapped up I wrap my hair in a twisty towel. Ya, you know, I look like I have a turban on my head. You all do it, admit it.

So, baby saw me with the towel on my head and wanted to get in on that action. Had to snap a photo for posterity. NO judging me on the fact that I look HORRIBLE, no make-up, puffy eyes from lack of sleep and I am half nekked.

And look, she tried to do it herself.

Keep trying.

Theme song? What is bathtime without the Rubber Ducky Song by Ernie from Sesame Street?

NPSA Saturday Edition

2009-08-15T15:51:00.000-07:00

I really don't have to preface this too much. Just let me tell you, this is neglectful parenting at its finest.

The band- The Offspring

The song- Pretty Fly

The words- "Give it to me baby, uh huh, uh huh!"

The ages, 8 and 4. Ya, I'm teaching them well.

Theme song is on the video, so no need for another one.

2009-08-13T13:45:00.000-07:00

My heart and dreams are shattered.

Remember back in the day when I admitted to my fixation with Scots? Love the kilt, love the plaid, love the accent, everything.

Well, the other day I was talking to a friend of mine. She and I (although very different ages- she is 70) have really gotten to know each other and I love her. She comes off all tough, but really she is a teddy bear.

Anyhow, she and I were talking and I found out something new about her. She served an LDS mission in Scotland. Dream come true for me. For her? Not so much. I was aghast. How in the world did she make it home without a handsome Scot? Didn't she find the men manly and sexy?

Apparently not.

I guess the "Braveheart" and "Outlander" view of Scotsmen isn't completely accurate. Who would have thought?

She served mostly in the outlying countrysides and told me that most of the men were smell and she could count on one hand the number of guys she met that didn't have missing front teeth. Of those that did still have their front teeth all of them had wrotten teeth. Hmmm, now, that? Not so sexy. Maybe I'll just stick with my Lover! He is part Scot, isn't smelly (at least not all of the time) and he has all of his teeth. Ya, I think he is a sexy beast and I think if I could just get him into a kilt (traditional style) he would be darn-near perfect. But, I would only want him in the kilt for me. I don't need any of you's running after him.

Theme- Got whatever it is by Zac Brown Band. Just replace all of the feminine pronouns with masculine pronouns, k?

First off

2009-08-12T12:43:00.001-07:00

Thanks to everyone for your positive words, prayers, vibes that you sent my way. Life isn't a shiny new penny for me right now, (trust me, I would have spent it already if it was) but I think we do have a few polished rocks now. Rocks don't count for much in the currency exchange, but if they did I would be RICH! Now, if only there was a way to make house dust have value I really would be in the filthy rich group. Anyway, thanks y'all! Luv ya!

I wanted to share a funny. If you don't find it funny, or if you don't admit to doing the same thing you have issues.

I have ALWAYS been a music lover. There are certain types I don't like as much, but if I have a choice between silence and music I will choose music everytime. (Some people tell me that is because I am not comfortable with my own thoughts- obviously they know me quite well!) Anyhow, when I was younger I specifically remember some songs that I would sing... the wrong words to.

Yes, I said it.

I know you have done it too.

Admit it!

You wanna know one that I still remember because my sister totally made fun of me for it. I am leaving open today for the whole world to make fun of me. Not only because I sang the wrong words, but also because of the song it was.

Back in the day when really the only music I listened to was country (I am more open with my music taste now) I loved Billy Ray. Yes, that is Billy Ray Cyrus. You know, the father of Hannah Montana/Miley Cyrus. Ya, I was one of the Achy-Breaky-Hearted.

I'm waiting for the judging and laughter to stop.

Still waiting.

Really people, when are you going to stop?

Okay, I guess I am just going to have to go on with you still rolling on the floor.

There is a part in the song when he sings:

You can tell your ma I moved to Arkansas
Or you can tell your dog to bite my leg
Or tell your brother Cliff who's fist can tell my lips
He never really liked me anyway

Well, I thought it said:

"Or you can tell your dog about my leg."

About what, you ask? No idea. I'm not the one who wrote the song. Do song lyrics ever make sense?

So, there you go. Keep laughing. Are you gonna admit to any lyrical mistakes you have made?

I am getting the last laugh here because you have already had to listen to today's theme song- heehee! Achy Breaky Heart by Billy Ray.

2009-08-11T12:22:00.000-07:00

+

ed

=

ME

In which I want to pull my hair out

2009-08-10T15:00:00.000-07:00

Do you know how men are always complaining that women are too cryptic? We don't just say what we mean?

You know how they also say, "Don't come to me with your problems unless you want me to give you solutions"???

If your man doesn't say this then you are pretty lucky. Mine does. He likes to fix my issues. Which is so manly of him. I feel like we live in caveman times with him dragging me by my hair (so sexy).

So, this past week (and weekend especially) I realized- these are all excuses for men to just not listen to us. If we come to them with problems and we need a solution- they will just say something like "I am just here to listen. You will appreciate it more if you fix this yourself." Now that is not so sexy. I am feeling like I am the one dragging Mr. Caveman round and I am trying to fix things.

Anyhow, I really want my caveman to be Mr. Fix-It Caveman right now. And I don't mean "Let it all go to helk" and that is fixing it. I want him to buck up. Be my Lover, my Man and stop sleeping off the depression. I know that is a totally jolly way to deal with depression and all that is going on here, but it really isn't helping. It really isn't helping me.

Now, on to my good thoughts of Hubby. He is sexy. He writes me love note on my whiteboard that I see when I get home from work. He has made sure lately that he kisses me good-bye every morning, even when I am still sleeping (I wake up for a second to say good-bye). I love that. He took the kids to the church camp-out Friday while I was working, then he brought them home and had a hot-dog roast in our fireplace (how cute is that). He totally helped out at our yard sale on Saturday.

He really does ROCK my world. I just need him to fix this problem, and not just listen. H.E.L.P!

Theme song- Help! by the Beatles. Yes, my theme songs are back on.

Just some thinking going on

2009-08-06T11:07:00.000-07:00

Hubby and I were having some pillow talk last night before we fell asleep. Our pillow talk is really exciting. I'd keep it a secret because it is pillow talk. However, I thought you all might be interested in a few of the epiphanies I had last night.

The Constitution, written by some VERY brilliant, inspired men, that laid the foundation of our country, was 4 pages.
The new universal healthcare bill is 1,000 pages.
Does anyone find a problem with this besides me?
I am pretty sure that aside from hiding some unconstitutional crap in there (besides universal healthcare not being a God-given, constitutional right) these blow-hards are way too wordy and will cost us trillions unnecessarily!
Did our government forget the 10th amendment? "The powers not delegated to the United States by the Constitution, nor prohibited by it to the States, are reserved to the States respectively, or to the people." I'm pretty sure they did!
I think they even forgot the 9th amendment (or maybe they are purposely ignoring it) "The enumeration in the Constitution, of certain rights, shall not be construed to deny or disparage others retained by the people."
I think the judicial branch forgot to read their Constitution this morning when they were eating their frosted FLAKES! In case they don't have their own copy of it I am more than willing to send one to them or they can check out this website.

Now how is that for romantic pillow talk? Jealous, aren't you?

Still no theme song. Why? you ask. Because I am speechless as the stupidity of those numbskulls in Washington who are SUPPOSED to represent the people. You may not like what I have to say, but I said it on my blog and I can say it if I want. If you disagree with anything maybe you need to have a daily, healthy dose of the Constitution with your breakfast too. If you are interested, Hubby just started his new blog (I inspired him... not really). Check it out if you are a citizen of the United States of America and love that we are a republic, not a democracy. Know the difference? Read it.

negativity is eating me alive

2009-08-05T13:33:00.000-07:00

I no longer find joy in Happily Ever After-type movies. Seriously, lets take a walk through some of these movies and I will point out the falseness and the brain-washing- and only then might you start to feel my pain (or maybe I will add to your pain. If that is the case, so sorry!)

Cinderella- THERE are no talking mice that are friendly. Mice + my house = me screaming.

Enchanted- Vermin do not help you clean up your house.

Mary Poppins- Contrary to American's favorite care-taker, a spoon full of sugar doesn't make the medicine go down, it just makes my pants tighter. I can't snap my finger to clean up my house. Shall I go on?

Lion King- Just saying Hakuna Matata will not make all your worries go away. If that worked I would be saying it CONSTANTLY.

Toy Story- Sometimes your friends aren't your friends forever.

Wizard of Oz- the Wizard can't give your courage, a heart or a brain. AND clicking the heals of your ruby-red shoes will not get you home. You have to pay $$$ to get a plane ticket or drive there. And when you do return home it isn't always as you remembered it.

Do you have any movies that you like to bust wide open?

No theme song today.

Sleeping Arrangements

2009-08-04T22:03:00.000-07:00

Last night, as I was reading in bed Hubby slipped in beside me. Now, some of you may know this already, but I have a serious aversion to being touched when I sleep. Because of this, when Hubby and I first got married and bought our bed we decided on a King. That way he has his side and I have my side. I am going to have to draw another diagram for you tonight so you can fully catch the frustration that I was feeling last night.

Okay, sorry for the BAD drawing. I never claimed to be DaVinci. I am more like Picasso when it comes to my artist "talent." Just so you know. That is me on the left, holding my body pillow, reading a book. I am not exaggerating either. I was close enough to the edge of my side to have one foot hanging over the edge. Do you love that Hubby is smiling? Me? Not so much. I was trying to read for crying out loud. I am in bed. I have already told him that if I am "in the mood" I will touch him.

Man, do I sound witchy! I don't like it when he eats in bed (crunches) and I don't like him to touch me when I am getting ready to sleep.

The funny thing is that I don't really mind spooning with him occasionally. That is fine. Just, when I am ready to sleep both fighters need to return to their corners.

Hubby isn't a bad guy. He doesn't even know how frustrated I got at this. That is why I am venting it here. He hardly ever reads this. And if he does read this one- Honey, I'm just joking. For the rest of you- totally true story!

Theme song- "Please don't touch me" from Young Frankenstein. This song is NOT G- rated. Sorry!

Monday

2009-08-03T14:55:00.000-07:00

It's Monday- SHOCKER! I know, now pick yourself up off the floor. Just a regular day, right?

Well, not for me. I am taking my first day off in 17 straight days of work. Before that I only had 1 day off and I worked 14 straight days. The only good thing? Hopefully my paycheck. The bad thing is that I haven't been with my family that much. Everynight I get to hear Hubby and the offspring cry/whine/or be sad that I am leaving. Granted, I really love my job. I love that I get paid decent wages (especially in this economy). I love that I get to listen to audiobooks all night long. I love that I get some "me" time. But, it is really hard to hear my family complain when I leave. I can tell myself all I want that I am doing it to help our financial situation (which is true, mostly) but I feel sad when I leave them.

When I am home I have Klingon (cling all over me) children. UMM either sits half on me or all the way on my when I am sitting. At meals there is a screaming match to see who is going to sit by me (and then whoever wins scoots the chair over to the point we are touching). When we go to church I have 4 kids competing for my lap and each side- this causes problems since I only have enough room on my lap for one kid and 2 sides of me and I really like to be able to sit next to Hubby. When I blog I usually have Oldest Child sitting on her bed behind me (yes, I now share my office with her bedroom) and she reads as I type. Good times!

This all came to my mind yesterday as our family sat in church and my kids were not being reverent. Big surprise! They really are young but I expect them to be the best kids E.V.E.R. and sit quietly and listen. Ya, right. After about the ninth fight over my lap space I sent all of the kids to the end of the pew and drew the following diagram for Hubby. From now on this is how we are going to sit at church (at least until they are old enough and big enough where I can flat-out REFUSE to let them sit on me).
Of course, MMIT doesn't have a designated seat. Seeing as she is only 2 she is a roamer. Until she is a little older she won't have a particular seating assignment. Unfortunately, this leaves me and Hubby with a kid in between so we will probably only be holding hand behind Kylie on the back of the pew, but that is better than going insane every Sunday. Oh, and if you are wondering D= Daddy and M= Mommy. The rest are the offspring.

Theme song- Sitting, waiting, wishing by Jack Johnson

It's Finally Friday

2009-07-31T15:22:00.000-07:00

Did you think I was going to forget? Sure didn't.

Hello, my name is Julie and I am a neglectful parent.

I was thinking today about being a mom. I birthed 4 beautiful kids. They really are great looking. Don't you think?

Ya, I thought you would think so.

Anyway, lately we have had an additional 2 kids in our house. Don't get me wrong, I like that my kids are kept company. They have friends to play with. However, I have a list of demands if this is going to continue.

I should be able to discipline the 2 other kids since I am the one taking care of them. Their mom and dad are gone the whole day and although the parents don't "leave them in my care" the kids really do need someone to take care of them.
If I am going to feed them lunch and dinner I should get $$$ for it. I planned on 4 kids, Hubby and I work to support 4 kids. 2 extra mouths for more than 1 meal a day is A LOT of food, especially since they are both boys and they both eat A LOT!
If you are going to act like this is your house and just get in the fridge whenever you want or walk in my front door whenever you want, I will add both names to my chore chart. I have a lot of work that needs to be done, inside and out and could use the extra help.
My house rules WILL be followed. There is no cussing, no hitting, and when I say "NO" I really do mean "NO."

Is this too much to ask? As a mom I think maybe I should have more compassion, but it is hard when I don't have enough money for my food budget to feed my family. It is hard to discipline my kids when they extra kids often cause the problems. I am not saying that my kids are saints. I really do know what hellions they can be- trust me! But they extra kids are older and have been raised differently and they like to use their house rules in my house. I also require that my kids ask before they get into snacks just so I know when they are eating (like if they try to snack 5 minutes before dinner) and what they are eating. Rarely do I tell them no. The extra kids don't like to ask, so they sneak into the freezer for a Popsicle/OtterPop when I am down doing laundry or busy blogging. I have even heard them tell my kids to ask me if they all can have a snack. My kids ask often enough. I don't need anyone else giving them more ideas of when to eat.

YIKES! This all sounds terrible. I know. Sorry, but it is true. I am just tired. They are pretty good kids, but I am struggling. Thanks for letting me vent.

Theme song- Mr. Rogers' Theme Song since the extra kids are my neighbors

The Push to be GREEN

2009-07-29T14:33:00.000-07:00

Like most schools in America, our local school made a major push last year for recycling. Ever since then my kids are constantly asking- "Can this be recycled?"

Normally this wouldn't bug me. I am all for the 3 R's (reduce, recycle, reuse).

Reduce- I have cut back on my family's intake of snacks.

Recycle- I was one of the first in my city to sign up for a recycling container (before they mandated it- sorta).

Reuse- I wear my jeans more than once before I wash them.

See how conscientious I am? So, when the following conversation happened I was a little worried about exactly what they taught my kids about recycling.

Snake - Mom, recycling is when we come back alive.

Mom - Son, I think you mean resurrection.

Snake - Ya, that's right.

Theme song- It's not easy being green by Kermit the Frog.

Special Wednesday

2009-07-29T13:42:00.001-07:00

Today we are going on a field trip. Do you all have your signed permission slips? Yes? Oh, good, I thought we were going to have to leave some of you behind.

Now, everyone, hop on the bus so we can get going.

No, not that bus. This one...

That's right. We are taking the short bus. Do you know why? Because we are SPECIAL!

Today we are going to a local attraction, hopefully close enough that no one with get car/bus sick, but you never know so if you need a barf bag let me know. I didn't bring enough for everyone. Hopefully we won't be having to share.

Everyone ready? Here we go... to Kennecott, the largest copper mine in the world.

First, lets take a look around outside. See these trucks?

This is how big ONE tire is on them.

My son, the poser.

And what is a field trip without a few cameras taking snapshots?

Ready to go inside? I'll take that smile as a yes.

Inside they have a video. We need to sit down and be quiet so everyone can hear and see the movie. Get all of your wiggles out, k?

Now that we know a little more about how the copper is mined, lets go see what else they have in the visitors center.

Evolution of the open mine.

And now, you all know...

One other thing I learned is that without copper a TV would not work. Who knew. Now, don't forget tonight when you say your prayers to be thankful for copper.

Theme song- Human by the Killers. Because I heard it on the radio on my way when I heard this for the first time. LOVE IT!

Things to be thankful for

2009-07-28T11:47:00.000-07:00

I don't know everything that has been flushed down my toilet (although I do know some things and it makes me cringe).
Deodorant (cuz it has been bloody hot here lately)
A friend who calls to remind me that I am late picking up for piano.
My Hubby, who knows when I say I am freaking out will stop talking about scary things (like Obama and his dictatorship).
Audiobooks
Bandaids and neosporin (to help my fingertip heal).
Trashcans (where ideally trash is supposed to go).
Cool showers on a hot day.
Hot showers on a cold day.
Boxed food (Mac 'n Cheese for lunch today)
Garden veggies
Otter-pops that keep my kids content. (unfortunately I find the wrappers all over my house)
Not using my alarm to wake up in the morning.
Straight-irons that make my hair somewhat normal (when I take the time to use it).

There you go. That's my thankful list for the day.

Theme song- Thank you by 10000 Maniacs

Camera Fun

2009-07-27T13:26:00.001-07:00

Here is what happens when my kids get ahold of the camera. I deleted the ones that would make you dizzy,sick, or have serious vertigo.

Because we could all use a picture with our brother playing the xbox half nekked.

Good friends, playing with the kitty.

POSER!

POSER #2

Snake lost a tooth. He wanted to document it so he could always remember. And what is a good picture with a lost tooth? The tongue through the hole picture.

Nanner, nanner, nanner! She learned to use the timer on the camera and came up with this fabulous shot. It's Oldest Child with her birthday/baptism chart all filled up.

In motion...

Nice neck. Little crusties in her neck roll. Kinda gross.

This is Daddy's head. They were trying to get a shot of his gray hair, but all they got was this silly pic.

I'd say that these are going to be the last crazy photos by my kids, but I am sure they aren't going to be. Now that they know how to use the camera they sneek it all the time.

Theme song- In honor of the 2 posers, I'm Too Sexy by Right Said Fred.

NPSA- finally

2009-07-24T15:01:00.000-07:00

Hello, my name is Julie and I am a neglectful mother.

A few weeks ago, when my sisters were here we sat around talking about being moms. I had to laugh when I thought of UMM (aka- Britin) going rabid in a restaurant in Idaho on one of our trips. It made me think of how I handle crises/tantrums/problems with my kids.

Here is what it comes down to...

I laugh.

No, I'm not kinding. If Oldest Child gives me a crusty look I give it back to her (and then laugh); if Snake comes in whining to me, I whine back (and then laugh); if UMM comes in screaming at me, I scream back (and then laugh); and if MMIT keeps calling my name, I call hers (and then laugh).

If you can't laugh what else is there to do? Cry? I already feel like doing that enough. I'd rather laugh.

Oh, and I think I am going to choose Trooper Thorn's song pick for yesterday's post, Daydream by Lovin' Spoonful.

Today's song? I tried "I love to laugh" from Mary Poppins but they didn't have it. I tried "Make 'em laugh" from Singing in the Rain. They didn't have that one either. The website I get them from was having a tard moment, so I don't have a new on for today. So just sit back and enjoy Daydream.

Our not-so-alone anniversary celebration

2009-07-23T10:49:00.000-07:00

We spent our 10th Anniversary at my Aunt's and Uncle's cabin. Yes, we were so lucky to have our children accompany us on this little vacation. We did have a lot of fun, though.

Hanging outside we scouted for Pot guts (sp?). Personally, I think they looked like the offspring of a squirrel and a rat.

The kids were busy playing most of the time, which was really nice. The problems occurred when it was bed time.

We took the kids on a short hike. These are some of the excited faces before we actually started the hike. (Sorry about the overexposure from the sun. I never claimed to be a great photographer.)

Later that night Dalen, Kylie, and I went outside to see the stars. I forgot how much you miss in the city. It was gorgeous. We could see the Milky Way (not the candy bar, although that would have been tasty), and about a million starts. Kylie had fun sitting with her dad (don't let the picture fool you, she was actually smiling most of the time).

All in all, the time was really fun. We watched some movies and just relaxed. Totally great!

No theme song for this one. Can't really think of one. If you have any suggestions let me know.

I'm Feeling Blue

2009-07-22T14:22:00.001-07:00

Don't really know why, other than having to deal with more $$$ problems. I would like to go to bed and not have to think about it today...
*
*
*
*
or tomorrow
*
*
*
*
or ever.

In honor of such deep thoughts, I thought The Ramones should grace us with "I Wanna Be Sedated."

You might be a failure if...

2009-07-21T13:01:00.000-07:00

...if you see this face...

(cute, I know) and he asks you, "How old do I have to be so I don't have to listen to you anymore?"

The inner-mom said, "You don't listen to me anyway so what does it matter?"

What I really said, "You will ALWAYS have to listen to me because I will ALWAYS be your mom."

Theme song- We're Not Gonna Take It by Twisted Sister (if you have seen the video you might get why I chose this song)

Did you know?

2009-07-20T14:06:00.000-07:00

Many people have complained about drivers who multi-task. It really isn't a good idea.

Here are just a few of the common unsafe practices...

Talking on your cell phone
Applying makeup
Shaving
Eating
Reading
Texting
Watching a movie
Accessing the Internet

These are actually on a website, along with other things that I didn't mention. But one thing that the website didn't mention is

Opening a human-proof container with a straight-edge knife

Who knew this was unsafe to do while driving? Not me. I thought for sure this would be a totally safe/smart activity to engage in while driving. I learned my lesson (and so did my finger).

Imagine if you will, me, driving to work, opening a new container of ear-buds for my iPod. Have you ever seen the containers those things come in? You need a nuclear torpedo to open it up.

Okay, so my package was smaller, but the edges were just like this. The package doesn't pop open. You can no longer use your teeth to open one of these puppies. You have to have major tools to open it (which is another funny thing- the tools come in similar packages).

Anyway, so here I am, using Hubby's Scotty Peeler
(ya, his is the one with the blade), trying to open said ear bud container. Well, those Scotty Peelers are sharp little suckers, because before I knew it, I had sliced off the tip of my pinky finger and was bleeding profusely. So much bleeding was going on that I had to put my finger in my mouth (not really a germ-free zone I am sure, since I had just had dinner) and I could taste the metallic flavor of the blood. If I was in Twilight (New Moon) Jasper would totally have come after me.

So, here I am, driving, sucking on my finger to keep from getting blood all over me, trying to find a napkin, and looking for an offramp so I can get to a gas station and use my life-savings to buy a box of bandaids. Expensive box of bandaids from a gas station convenience store = $1,000,000. Same box of bandaids from a grocery store = $3.50. Couldn't wait, so I overspent, just so I could contain the bleeding.

The good news? I now have a box of gold-plated bandaids in my purse (I'll tell myself that so I don't cry when I think about how much I paid for them). Other bonus? I thinkI am no longer anemic- I could taste the iron (and I was putting it right back in my body). So there is a way to look at the positive, right?

Theme song- Bleeding Love by Leona Lewis. I was also thinking about Sunday Bloody Sunday, but it happened on Saturday, so I didn't know if that should be the song. I'll add it second, just because I thought of that one, too. But, I am going to add the Paramore version since I like that one best, even though U2 is the original.

*Sorry, I couldn't get a good picture of my missing finger tip. You'll just have to imagine the gore.

**Hey, I just thought of a funny, is it a coincidence that Al Gore's name means

Gore: (noun)

blood that is shed, esp. when clotted.
murder, bloodshed, violence, etc.: That horror movie had too much gore.

Enjoy that thought for the day.

Happy 10th to the Man in my life

2009-07-16T21:41:00.000-07:00

I wanted to pay tribute to the man who has had to put up with me for the past 10 year (tomorrow) so I thought of 10 reasons I am glad I married this guy.

He still grabs my hiney.
He bathes more than once a year.
He doesn't shave- just for me!
Although he has brown eyes, he isn't totally full of poop.
He gives me presents that make me cry (either from sadness or happiness- but they do make me cry).
He loses his eyes when he smiles.
He totally makes me laugh after... you know...during the "snuggle time" which is a total improvement considering he laughed DURING our first kiss.
He chose a profession that includes few women which is great for me since I tend to get jealous easily.
He lets me call him "Lover."
And the BEST reason I am so glad I married my Lover... He has NEVER "cover-wagoned" me.

Happy 10th Anniversary LOVER!

Don't we make a cute couple?

Theme song- the song we danced to 10 years ago- our first dance as husband and wife...I'll Be by Edwin McCain.

My life as a fairytale

2009-07-15T14:16:00.000-07:00

Did you ever see those Faerietale Theater movies? They were always weird shows, so I came up with my own. Though, I didn't have a camera at the time of the making of this tale, so I am just going to have to tell it to you and you will have to picture me (clothed, please) acting it out.

Once upon a time (because all fairytales start that way, but in this case I mean yesterday) there was a beautiful peasant mother, who loved her 4 peasant children so much that when some nearby royal friends invited this peasant mom and her peasant children to a day floating along a river of foggy gold the peasant mom said "Helk Ya!"

Off we went in our peasant carriage (with a lovely crack in the windshield- this carriage has a windshield- don't question me- it's my story). We picked up a few royal friends to ride along with us and make the trip more fun. The royal queen that joined us was a blast along with the royal princess and "almost-princess-in-law." We listened to royal music and chatted about royal and peasant things.

They ride was long and the peasant mom was a little worried about being done on the foggy golden river in time to make it to her work. The royal mothers all assured her that we would be done on the foggy golden river in PLENTY of time. So away her cares went as she lazily (and sometimes not-so-lazily) floated along.

When the crowds all gathered at the ending point the peasant mom jumped in a car with the royal moms to get the cars from the starting point.

"What time is it?" asked the peasant mom.

"Oh, probably about 3," replied a few of the royal moms. Plenty of time to make it home, shower and get to work.

Oh, but that was not to me. For alas, when we saw the sundial in the carriage it said 4:35PM!

"What the WHAT!" screamed the peasant mom. "I have 1 hour to make a 90 minute drive (praying for no backup of carriages) and get myself ready for work. Peasant children, jump in the carriage, we are off!"

Sidenote- did you know that carriages can go 90 miles an hour? Well, they can, and mine did.

The peasant children we exhausted after the lazy work of floating, so they quickly fell asleep, which really was for the best so they wouldn't be screaming at the peasant mom to SLOW DOWN. The peasant mom worked those horses to the bone, slowing down only for tight turns and slow carriages.

Halfway home the peasant mom had a most brilliant idea. She pulled out her tin can with a string that was connected to the peasant father and told him to get in his carriage, with a change of clothes for the peasant mom, her face-paint, hair brush and deodorant, and meet her at the horses feeding trough just off the highway close to home. The peasant father, being the loving and concerned soul that he is obeyed his wife and even made a lovely dinner for the peasant mom to eat.

When the peasant mom and the peasant children finally made it to the feeding trough (gas station for those who didn't get the connection yet) the Mom and Dad quickly kissed and then exchanged carriages.

Driving the carriage up to work in her bathing suit the peasant mom was sad she didn't get a chance to kiss on the peasant dad a little more, but was grateful for all the peasant dad did. The carriage ride was filled with lots of loving thoughts for the rest of the peasant family.

Once the carriage made it to its destination in a land far, far away from the peasant mom's cottage she looked at the sundial to see that there was 5 minutes to spare.

Now this is where the story gets good...

Because- the peasant mom was still in her bathing suit, crazy hair and not smelling so fresh.

What to do?

Park in the VERY BACK of the lot, pray that there are no peeping toms or electronic peeping toms to see, and change clothes in the carriage. This was an interesting feat since the carriage is a TINY one. Continually praying that no one would see, the peasant mom threw off her clothes, changed, and RAN into work, just in time to punch the sundial and ...

PHEW! Not late.

I know... you are all amazed. What a great story. Especially since I am the queen of the Curse. For once, the curse didn't hit me. I had a great day with the kids, got a little burned, but didn't get fired. Oh, I mean, the peasant mom is still employed, able to bring home bountious means to the family to keep them all fed.

THE END

Theme song- The River by Garth Brooks

It's PaRtaY TIME!

2009-07-13T12:42:00.001-07:00

Saturday, after my life calmed down a bit I was able to meet up with a few of the fabulous bloggers that are linked on my side bar. We had a blast at the OG. Salad, soup, breadsticks and a lot of laughing. It was so great. Thanks ladies for the great escape. Ithink we scared more than a few innocent restaurant patrons... oh well. Oh, and I am thinking that the servers were VERY glad when we finally left.

Oh Barb, you are too cute...ignore the 5 chins I have in this pic.

I love this lady!

Weird? No, we aren't weird.

Ya, I got the side view- Shelle! Check out that hiney!

The gang.

Guest appearance by Crash's hot hubby and gorgeous daughter! (Ya, I said it... did you tell him?)

The coordinator of this fantabulous lunch, Crash (oh ya, and me too). Okay, guess which on lives in Hawaii and which one lives in UT? Hard one, I know. I'll give you a hint... I'm NOT tan!

Still lovin' ya Val!

We all brought cameras, didn't we? You can tell you are at a lunch with bloggers when you are constantly seeing this... (Nutty Hamster Chick and Shelle)

Would it truly be a bloggers lunch without the Snuggie (and this is a Snazzie Snuggie). Oh, and do you remember my post about who the 2 people I would love to meet in person? Ya, here they are, Crash and Kristina. Dream come true.

Theme song... apparently I am the Bad Girl of the group (along with Shelle- thanks for not leaving me lonely...) so today's theme song- Bad Influence by Pink. You gotta love Pink.

Never too much company

2009-07-10T12:23:00.000-07:00

WHAT? Am I serious? Well, I do have to say that it has been a blast! At one point I had 20 people staying at my house (including my 6). Here is just a taste of some good ole fun... the rest is to come because I haven't downloaded the rest of the pics.

We all went to the Oquirrh Mountain Temple open house. Beautiful temple.

All the cousins together. I love the face Kylie is making. Sometimes you have just had enough.

Okay, so Malia had had enough too.

So, we went out for food. Look at the size of that burger. She is going to choke. It's the size of her petite little head.

And then there was Humanitarian at the church. Lots of fun...lots of kids.

And you may think I jest when I tell you that we were traumatized to hear about Billy Mays. Thursday night we held a mini- funeral-type dinner for him. Ham, funeral potatoes and all! And, thanks to Kristina, we were able to honor BM with masks and everything. Isn't that great? You are so jealous, I know.

(Oh, and I will so add a video of us being "special." Check out the end.)

Then, there was the baptism... just a sneak, because Oldest Child is SO going to be getting her own post about that special day. Especially since it was the 4th of July. PARTAY!

Okay, I get the hint- you've had enough. I'll be back for more foto-fun. Missed you all while I was vacationing.

Theme song- Please Don't Leave Me by Pink... (in honor of my return, I am totally hoping that I haven't lost all of my blog-friends/followers/entourage/stalkers. LY!

PS- I know it is supposed to be NPSA meeting today, but really, I have to say I have been a great mother, aunt, sister and daughter these past 2 weeks. There was no killing anyone. That is a great accomplishment, don't you think? I am sure my sisters appreciate my restraint.

Summer Vacation

2009-07-01T12:54:00.000-07:00

Since I am poor and have no/little $$$/dinero/cash/moola I have decided on my own little vacation. One that will cost me nothing. Now if that isn't great I don't now what it.

I am taking a vaca from my blog. Just for the rest of this week. I know you are going to miss my wit and funny stories. But I have too much going on right now. I know you will miss my NPSA meeting for this week. I even had a great topic that was inspired Shelle. So, since I won't be there, and I really hate to cancel a meeting, especially since there are so many parents who truly need the support, so I am shouting out to Anjeny- can you lead this week's meeting? Try to get more followers/joiners. Maybe we can all help to support each other.

Oh, and no theme song for today. All I am hearing lately is the buzzing in my head from too many kids yelling and screaming.

And again and again

2009-06-29T12:17:00.000-07:00

If you can name the movie that I picked my title from I will send you a box of girl scout thin mint cookies- which happen to be my all-time favorite and I ration them through the year- (that is how confident I am that no one other than my family will know what I am even talking about- so family no helping other people and just like all other contests, any relatives are disqualified from playing).

How lucky am I? Well, after telling you all about the curse I am sure your answer will be "about as lucky as Farrah and Michael were last week"... (ouch- sorry, that was a low blow). But I am here to tell you that I am a pretty lucky girl sometimes. Yesterday my baby, the Oldest Child, turned 8, which is a H.U.G.E. deal in our religion. Because of the big event coming up this Saturday- namely Kylie's baptism- our house is being invaded. No, not the bad invasion I had recently. We are talking a good invasion. FAMILY, FAMILY, and MORE FAMILY. WOOHOO!

To some you might be thinking "WOW- I need to stay away from that house. With all those cursed people things are bound to get CRazY!" To others (like Hubby) you are thinking "House of insanity... how in the world are you going to fit all of those people in that house with only 2 bathrooms?" Well, I say- "It's my life, it's now or never. I don't wanna live forever. I just wanna live while I'm alive." Profound words from Bon Jovi. But, it's true- I am the one dealing with it- so don't complain as I tell you all of the fun that is happening at my house.

Birthday FUN!

The girl loves jewelry. She got a CTR necklace from her brother and sisters.

You gotta have the new scriptures complete with embossed name for the eighth birthday (from Mommy and Daddy).

I told you, she loves jewelry... Aunt Jeanne, Uncle Matt and cousins gave her a special bracelet for her baptism.

Helping to make her own cookie cake. So cute.

Scary eyes... she decorated the cookie cake herself. Can you tell?

AND- the family invasion...

Lovin' the cousins.

So glad Aunt Jeanne came... thanks for the bracelet!

Not only did the birthday girl get a present, but my sis gave me the greatest present E.V.E.R. (aside from coming to see me and my fam). No, serious- this is the BEST!

I've always wanted one. Can't you see the excitement on my face? There were even tears in my eyes. (for those who are totally clueless as to the necessities of life- this is a sugar container. One opening poors sugar, say, to put on your cereal. The other is for larger amts of sugar or spooning it out.) Isn't the color the best? The only way to make it better? 70's yellow! What makes this even more special is that Jeanne doesn't have one of her own. She could have/should have kept it for herself. But, being the selfless person she is (which is so not me) she gave this priceless, discontinued Tupperware sugar server to me. IT'S MINE! ALL MINE!

And, I had to add this picture-

Ya, that's my leg. I was taking it from my POV and pointing my toes so you don't see all of my beautifully pedicured toes. Too bad.

Theme song- It's my life by Bon Jovi. (what a shocker)

It's FRIDAY!

2009-06-26T14:16:00.000-07:00

And really, we all know what Friday means, right? NPSA! Let's unite!

Hi, my name is Julie and I am a neglectful parent.

Why you ask? Well, there are so many reasons, so what should I focus on today?

I think we are going to go with dressing mistakes. I have been trying to give my children more freedom. This includes allowing them to pick out their own clothes. If you knew me in person you would understand that this is a B.I.G. deal. I struggle with my kids being tacky or being made fun of. So, here are just a few pics of dressing mishaps that believe it or not, I actually let my kids stay in... of course the nekked ones I required them to stay home or else get something on... enjoy (because I sure didn't- it hurts my eyes).

That is a dance tutu she has on over her clothes.

I know you have seen this one before, but who can't get enough of a toddler trying on mommy's bra?

Ya, Snake went to school like this in MAY! What a good mom I am.

I can't even tell you what this is all about. I have nothing.

Just in case she gets sweaty...

Can you tell which 2 kids I have the hardest time with? Oh, how I wish I just carried my camera around all of the time so you could see every tacky outfit the offspring have worn. It is scary. (I know you think I have my camera glued to my side but that would make showering and getting myself dressed kind of difficult.)

Theme song- Different Clothes by the Jason Crigler Band.

Check this out

2009-06-25T14:39:00.000-07:00

I totally didn't know that I passed my 200th post and didn't do a darn thing for it. Sorry people. If you lived in my head for a day you would understand. Hey, wait, you read all my thoughts. Maybe you do understand. Phew! Thought I was going to get some flack for that.

Okay, now let's get down to business...

I am sure by this time I don't need to remind you about my family curse, right? Well, let's talk about it hitting me smack dab in the middle of my face not once but twice in less than a week.

Saturday I got a phenomenal letter from a law firm. Last year we hired an attorney to help us with our mortgage problem (story all by itself). So the gist of letter was to inform us that the FTC has shut down our lawfirm for legal malpractice. Of all of the lawyers I spoke with (and believe me there were MANY) we/I chose the retards/crooks/jerks of the century. Now all there is to do is wait...wait and HOPE and PRAY that the court rules that all retainers are to be refunded in full. That would be a nice wad of cash.

Who does this happen to?

Ya, I know- - - - - ME!

Then, on Tuesday, when we took our trip down to Manti for the pageant the unthinkable happened. Now, I am sure you are wondering why I didn't add this in yesterday's post. It's because I wanted yesterday's post to be a happy one. This story- not so happy. I even threw up a little in my mouth even thinking about it.

After the pageant we went back to my aunt's cabin. This was my first time being there and was so excited to spend the day and evening with my cousins and friends. All was going well, we were visiting and playing cards when a few of the cousins, kids and Oldest Child came up stairs SCREAMING. We aren't talking yelling or talking loud. This was an ear-piercing, something is definitely wrong, girly-kind-of scream.

So, here is what happened- while some of the girls and kids were downstairs one girl pulled the blankets down on her bunkbed to climb in. Low and behold- there, where she had been sitting- on top of the blankets- were 5 dead baby mice and a dead momma mouse.

You want proof?

Talking to my cousins- this is the first time anything like this has ever happened. Apparently a mouse was giving birth and my cousin's daughter put her stuff on the bed and sat down quickly and hard. She must have killed them then. I am just wondering how she didn't feel something under her. Since this was the first time anything like this has happened, and it is the first time we were invited to the cabin I am pretty sure I won't be getting another invite anytime soon.

Want a second look?

Okay, so you said you didn't but I gave it to you anyway.

What did we learn from all this?

Stay away from me. I am totally cursed!

Theme song-

Dead man's party by Oingo Boingo- just because.

It's all about the pictures

2009-06-24T13:56:00.000-07:00

Are you all sick of listening to Louie Louie yet? Just for you, I have gone into the playlist and deleted all but the most well-known version by the Kingsmen. I know you are sighing relief right now, but really, you are still going to be singing it later today.

I had the chance to go down to Manti with the fam to watch the Mormon Miracle Pageant (which I haven't seen in more than 12 years). It was great, but with young kids- probably not going to venture that one again anytime soon. The whole time the pageant was going on I was trying to keep my kids quiet, sitting and warm. Me- I was uncomfortable, cold and more than a little in pain with the kids leaning/sitting/standing/laying on me. Good times, right? I am glad we went, though. We went with family and friends and had a blast. Stayed at my aunt and uncle's cabin overnight. Played Nerts (ya, you know it- Thanks Sally and the girls for playing with me). So, here are just a few of the MANY pics I took at our mini-vacation...

Our room- well, really it is my aunt's room, but we stayed in this one. It was VERY comfy. In fact I think sometime I might try to sneak my bed down and switch it with this one.

Just chillin'. When we first arrived we all sat around and just relaxed. How often do we actually get to do this?

Just some silly/cute pics. Snake took this one of UMM when they went outside to check out a dead grasshopper. Maybe that is what she is hiding in her hang. Some things are better not known.

Then, we went on a hike to the LookOut. It was gorgeous. Of course, I was teased for being so afraid of heights, but in my defense... I am MUCH better than I was when I was little.

Later that night we made our way over to the Manti Temple to wait for sundown- SHOWTIME! The kids had a blast playing and eating. I had fun taking pictures- and what is a picture montage without a picture of someone taking a picture of me taking a picture of them. Love these shots, can you tell?

What do you do after a long day of playing and just plain fun? CRASH! It was really a lot of fun.

Theme song- Get Together by The Youngbloods. Hey, that's funny, right?

Oh, It's just me

2009-06-22T15:13:00.000-07:00

It's Monday... in case you weren't aware. That's all I have to say...

No, really, that's all there is.

If you want something insightful for today check out the bloggers on my sidebar. Today- I got NOTHIN'!

Okay, I give up. I'll share a funny story with you all, if you really want me to. So, when I was little my family and I took a trip to Idaho to visit my uncle. (Just imagine- 8 people- 6 kids/2 adult- all in a 7-seater van - don't tell the cops- in a hot van for over 18 hours- can we say good times? NOPE!)

So, when we got to Idaho Falls (which is a total booming metropolis) we stopped somewhere, I believe to use the facilities and get food. We scanned the radio for music - this was back in the day BEFORE iPods. Even before CD's. Haven't I told you all how old I am? Ya, I remember 8-tracks. OH YA!

ANYHOO! Obviously there weren't many stations back in the dinosaur era, so there wasn't a ton to choose from. There was one station that was play Louis Louis, which we all know is a classic (now try not to sing that for the rest of the day!). After the song was over we scanned again. You'll never guess...

Yup, another station was playing Louis Louis. What is it with Idahoans and that song? To give some slack we did notice that it was a different artist singing it, so not too bad, right?

Well, that was over and we scanned again. I kid you NOT it was on again. That's when we noticed it was the same station each time. After the third time of hearing it the dj came on and said something like- "This is KLUI- all Louis all the time." WOW! All they ever played was Louis Louis by different artists/bands.

Later we found out that the station was only on air for 24 hours. How lucky was our family that we just happened to be travelling through Idaho during that 24 hours? Ya, you're jealous! It's a family joke now. Oh, and if you were wondering, you can chalk this to the curse (if you are not a lover of the Louis Louis) or you can claim the curse passed us by (if you heart Louis Louis). I'll let you choose.

Theme song? Need you ask??? JUST BE GRATEFUL I stopped at 10 versions. There are so many more.

Saving one mother at a time

2009-06-19T12:22:00.000-07:00

The title of this post is courtesy of my friend Sally, who is the coordinator of all things fun this summer. She even has a blog that keeps her summer posse in the know with what fieldtrips we are doing. Isn't she the best?

Well, Hello, my name is Julie and I am a neglectful parent. Even with Sally's help, I have not been saved from going crazy. (Maybe it's because I didn't go on the museum fieldtrip on Wednesday... my bad.)

Randomness of what my kids have been up to this week-

MMIT dumped a bottle of intimacy gel all over my house. Ya, it was in my room where it belongs, but she has learned where to look for the forbidden from UMM and she got into it. Do you have any idea how slickery that stuff is??? That was a fun clean up.
MMIT also dumped a whole bottle of childrens shampoo all over her bedroom floor. Thankfully her floor is wood, but still, it is practically impossible to get it all off.
Snake and UMM had a food fight today with carrots/ranch dressing and hot dogs/ketchup. Nice... not like I wasn't already at my end. I had to pay my honkin' house payment today and even though we got paid today I have no $$$ left over, so I was already pissed.
UMM likes to change clothes a million times a day so the clothes that I have just folded and put away are now either in the hamper (because I picked them up off the floor where she left them) or they are on the floor (where she left them).
One of the offspring- no one will fess up- dropped a whole roll of TP in the downstairs toilet.
I pulled out the ranch dressing from the fridge for the carrots today and had to shake it to make sure it was mixed. Whoever got it out last- have no idea on this one either because they all love to get in the fridge- didn't screw the lid on and I got splattered with ranch, a huge puddle on the ground and all over the fridge.

So, here I sit, eating cookie dough (my own personal therapy) and trying to keep calm. I just hope the children stay in hiding until their dad gets home. Hopefully he will have more patience when he gets home.

Theme song- Unwell by Matchbox 20. I have to giggle because it says "I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell." I'd have to say I am CRAZY!

Summertime Blues

2009-06-17T12:16:00.000-07:00

We have all heard so much about the economy being in the crapper, but today it totally crapped on me again. How so?

My friend Sally- you know, the coordinator of all that is fun- planned a great trip to a local museum that I have never been to. I had totally planned on going to it with the offspring to share a bit of Utah history. Sounds great, right?

Well, sounded great until I went online to check my accounts to see if we had $$$ for lunch, too. Ummm, holy crap. Totally forgot my student loan payment was getting taken out of my account yesterday. There was all of $14 left for me to use for the next week and a half. CRAP!

So, no museum, no eating out, no filling up on the Mommy Stash, no nothing. Gas has to last. My car better not break down and I will cry if any of my utilities get turned off.

I still haven't had any takers/givers on my $1 million offer. I need it, QUICK!

Theme song- Summertime Blues by Eddie Cochrane

Home Invasion

2009-06-16T13:10:00.000-07:00

I kid you not. We had a home invasion this morning and I was terrified out of my wits. I wouldn't have been so scared, but my kids were home, too. How was I going to protect them and make sure nothing bad happened to them along with myself.

I learned a lot about myself through all of this. First and foremost- I am a BIG chicken. Not a little chicken. I mean a ginormous, King Kong sized chicken. You see those movies and TV shows where the parents are all noble and brave and will do anything to protect their children, right? Well, I did protect them, but I wasn't all noble about it. I was more like, lets just ignore it, lets just make sure we all get out of this alive.

Luckily, all is well and I was able to snap a quick picture of the assailant before he/she escaped.

I gotta be honest, I am not a fan of being held captive in my own house. Sadly, I love to stay home, and chill. I am such a home-body. BUT, I hate being made to stay home.

Isn't that the biggest FREAKIN' bee you have ever seen? I couldn't even go by my stairs. So, laundry isn't getting done today. Oh well!

Theme song- Queen Bee by nickasaur!

I know you are dying to know...

2009-06-15T10:06:00.001-07:00

As you are aware- I did not hold last week's NPSA meeting. Why, you ask? Well, I was busy having fun and to be honest, I wasn't in the mood to reflect on my inability to parent. I was excited to head out of town with my lady friends and have fun (which is neglectful mothering at its finest).

The coordinator of all that is fun!

All the ladies- playing Nerts. Good times!

Watch your hands- I get brutal when I play!!!

Sitting around, talking. One of the best parts of chillin' with friends- we don't get interrupted with "MOM!"

Nice face, Shauna! Some people just don't like having their picture taken.

Oh, the pain. FYI, FTR, and all that jazz- if you are getting over the flu and still have a touchy tummy, Mexican food is NOT the way to go. Poor Melinda. She was a trooper, though, and I'm glad she came.

Poor, tired baby. Yes, she does have a purple mouth. Yeast infection- has to be painted with this purple/blue stuff every night. Poor thing. She looked too cute, though.

The beds were so close together. I had to squeeze in. Retarded face, though. Really? Is this the best I could do??? hmmmm....

Theme- Girls Night Out by Hannah Montana/Miley Cyrus.

Curses!

2009-06-11T13:21:00.000-07:00

Yup, it's hit my house (and neighborhood) again. Really, I kid you not. It is a real curse...

So, Hubby was gone part of this week and while he was gone a few things happened. (Since he rarely goes out of town this just happened to take place on one of the RARE business trips.)

The cops showed up at my neighbor's house. Probably a drug bust. The husband next door was out of town working, too. It was just the kids with the mom next door and I really don't have details to share as to why at least 8 cops busted into their house. I had a sitter with my kids while I was at work (when Hubby would have normally been taking care of my kids). Not that it really effected me, but it really did. I got a text from a friend who asked me why swat was next door. I F.R.E.A.K.E.D! My kids spend just about everyday with the kids that live next door. Luckily the kids had not been home all day, so my kids weren't over there, but still... I didn't know if maybe the kids had come home and my offspring witnessed whatever happened. (I'm sure this story made no sense, but it makes sense to me, and really I'm selfish, so it's all about me anyway.)
Next, since Hubby missed me so very much he surprised me by having a friend send me flowers and candy. I came home to a surprise on my kitchen table- LOVING it! Before I could truly enjoy them, though, I had to make a quick stop in the restroom for some personal business. When I came back to the kitchen this was what I saw (and being me- I grabbed pics, then I yelled...)

Yes, it is possible to yell at this face. Difficult, but possible.
The end result of her flower-fun...

3 of the 12 roses made into potpourri. I guess she was trying to help, but I didn't find it so helpful. Hubby hasn't given me flowers in I don't know how long. This was a great surprise, and it ended with me sad because I didn't keep the MMIT away from them. You remember the curse, right? My family's curse is...

"If it can go wrong, it will, at the worst time. If it can't go wrong, don't worry it will, at the worst time. If all is going according to plan, just wait, something will go wrong, at the worst possible time. And lastly, don't worry- life really does decide to crap on you when you think everything is great."

I think this qualifies as falling under the headline of curse.

Still, the flowers are beautiful. Hubby will be home today and I am going to smooch him LOTS!

Theme song- Don't Cry by Guns N Roses. Had to laugh at my choice. Get it? GUNS and ROSES?????!!!!! Brilliance, don't you think?

Randomness in my brain

2009-06-10T12:32:00.000-07:00

I know that Blogging Mama likes Random Tuesday, but yesterday I didn't have a chance to blog. Lots of crazy busy things going on here in my camp and didn't even get to check out your blogs. Sorry! But, I do have just random thoughts swimming around in my brain matter that I need to get out and then I can get over it, right? (A girl can dream, right???)

I hate making my bed. Really, I love a clean, made-to-military-standards bed. However, I really hate making my bed. It is a pain in the kutookuss (that's my word for rear end). So, I really don't do it too often. I often wish I lived in the Jetsons time so that my bed will make itself.

Or have Rosie come make it for me.

Put me on a conveyor belt and roll me down the hallway, have a shower, get dressed, feed me and kick me out the door. If life could be that efficient maybe I could get a little more sleep and not walk around like a zombie.

*

When I am in a total hurry to get somewhere with the kids and I still have to get myself ready, then is not the time for my oldest to ask me if I want to play the piano with her. I feel so bad because whatever else I am doing really isn't as important as she is, but I have my mind focused and set on its course and I get really frustrated with her for playing loud and slowing me down.

*

How can goldfish live so long without food. I haven't had chocolate since last night and I feel like I am dying. I am going to have to run to the store in a minute.

*

I hate scary movies and scary stories. If you think it is funny to tell me stories that are going to keep me awake at night then I will be calling you in the middle of the night to keep me company (right Sally???).

*

My kids found my little "Mommy Stash" new hiding place so I have to find another one. That is such a pain. You all know what the "Mommy Stash" is don't you? Ya, the treats that are only for mommy when you have had enough and need a chocolate/candy/sweets fix. It is such a pain to move it because I have to find another place that is not too obvious for the kids AND Hubby to find. That's right, the Hubby is not privied to the "Mommy Stash" unless specifically invited to do so.

*

And finally- this is my last thought, and it is more of a question- anyone have one million ($1,000,000) dollars they want to give me? No, not borrow- just give. I am looking for a generous soul to help me out here. Any takers? Or should I ask, Any givers??????

Theme song in honor of randomness, one of my favorite songs that really has nothing to do with today's post, but has a lot of meaning to me... Kristy, are you doing okay? By Offspring.

Best sounds in the world

2009-06-08T14:54:00.000-07:00

Friday's NPSA meeting we talked about chewing (just in case you didn't attend the meeting- loser!). Ya, I know I have issues. I had the funniest comments, too. Hubby read my post and then said, "WOW, I had no idea your mental illness was so widespread." (or something like that)

Well, today I started off the morning with my favorite sound E.V.E.R. I love the sound of rain. Can you hear it??? I am lulling myself to sleep as I type just thinking about it.

Other sounds I like-

My kids laughing
Waves one the beach
Talking to my sister (she has a great voice- very soft)
SILENCE... oh, sorry, didn't mean to scream that one... I mean silence.
My shower (when I am in it). I love the water rushing over my ears and face.

Some sounds I really could do without (besides the chewing and crunching thing because I already dedicated a whole NPSA meeting to that issue) -

Velcro
Nails on a chalkboard
Crunching ice
Biting on a popsicle (ya, I gagged just now)
Whining!
"Mommy" (only when I have heard it like 1 million times in 5 minutes).

What are you favorite sounds? What do you hate to hear????

Theme song- Purple Rain by Prince and the Revolution. I was just going to have rain be the background noise but then I thought that it might make people have to use the restroom and then I wouldn't have any comments because no one would be able to get through the whole post.

NPSA

2009-06-05T13:24:00.000-07:00

Here we are group. Another Friday, and you know what that mean...

The meeting will now come to order. Hello, my name is Julie and I am a neglectful parent.

Something has been bothering me lately about my parenting (I know, big surprise, huh?). I realized that I don't sit down to eat breakfast or lunch with the offspring...E.V.E.R. The only time I ever eat at a table with them is for dinner (on the rare nights I am home to eat dinner with them) or when we go to a restaurant. I just don't do it. When I took D.A.R.E. in elementary school I think I learned the "Just say no" a little too well. I apply it to just about every facet of my life.

You might be wondering WHY? Well, have you met my kids? Would you want to sit at a table with them?

Now, really, ever since I was little I have had a major problem with other people eating around me. I hate the sound of chewing. It is like nails on a chalkboard to me. No matter how hard I try to ignore it the worse I feel. I get to the point of nausea sometimes. No joke. Really, I do.

My brother had a real problem, which I think exacerbated the problem (now that is a big word). He would eat monster bowls of cereal. His main goal was to eat the whole thing in one (maybe 2) bites. He has a big mouth, I do admit, but I think the guy used a shovel to eat. He'd stick so much in his mouth that he couldn't even close his mouth. So, not only did I get to hear the slurping of the food off of the shovel, but then I got to hear the crunch and the heavy breathing through the nose since he couldn't breathe though his mouth with so much food in it.

So, now that I am a mother I have tried to instill in my kids the concern for others' nerves. To no avail, though. It is practically impossible to teach children to keep their mouths shut. It is a constant reminder at the table- "keep your mouth closed" and by the time I finish my plate of food I am running to my room for a little quiet (non-chewing) time.

Hubby isn't any better really. He will bring bowls of food into our room. Umm, our room is not the kitchen. I don't really have a problem with SOME foods in our room. Bring in a quiet bowl of icecream (but make sure there is NO slurping). Bring in a quiet piece of bread. Maybe even a quiet homemade cookie. But for the love of Pete, PLEASE don't bring in chips. Really? Chips? That is considered a good evening-in-the-bed snack? I don't think so. At least have the decency to suck on the chip until it is soggy enough to chew quietly. You may think that is gross, but that is what I usually do. Hey, I practice what I preach (sometimes).

Theme song- Come On Feel The Noise by Quiet Riot. (I have to giggle at today's selection. Talk about oxymoron!)

Proper Etiquette???

2009-06-04T00:20:00.000-07:00

I have my very first massage today. Hubby gave me a gift card to have a massage... um... back in February. Ya, for Valentine's Day. He thought I didn't really like it because I hadn't used the card yet, but that really had nothing to do with it. I was totally shocked and happily surprised that he gave me something so thoughtful. I just kept forgetting to schedule it. I had to also make sure I had a babysitter and all that, so I just didn't do it... until today.

So, here is my question. When getting a massage you are supposed to be relaxing, right? So, are you supposed to talk to the person or be quiet? I mean, it isn't like you are getting your hair cut and chatting away with your hairdresser. This is a little different. And my different I mean I was naked under the blanket/sheet. I am totally modest and don't deal so well with the whole naked thing, but that is another story. So, tell me, should I have been a conversationalist or kept quiet? I won't tell you what I did. I'd like to know so that I will know proper etiquette for next time (if there is a next time, which I totally hope there is!).

No theme song for today. Just enjoy the music already on the play list.

More lessons learned

2009-06-02T15:50:00.000-07:00

Today I learned a few very important and quite valuable lessons.

Nature is beautiful.
Nature does not like me.
I should stay away from nature.
Whenever Sally says something is "easy" don't believe her!
It is totally awesome having so many great family members and friends around!

I went a little camera happy on the "easy hike." Ya, I about killed my kids, but I was too busy making sure I didn't die from the "easy hike." Did I mention that Sally told me this was an "easy hike?" Ya, I know I am a wuss, but I have my bad heart to blame it on. See, some good came from the fact that I have medical problems. (Nevermind the fact that I have never been one to do great at hiking.)

First Up- LUNCH!

Next- the "easy hike"
(I didn't get any pictures of the actual hike because I couldn't even breathe. Forget holding a camera even sort of still while I snapped a few pics.)

Theme Song- The Outdoor Type by Lemonheads.

Darwinism

2009-06-01T14:46:00.000-07:00

Today we had a lesson on Darwinism. What is it all about?

Well, I focused mainly on Survival of the Fittest.

Now Darwinism is not to be confused with the Darwin Awards ("The Darwin Awards salute the improvement of the human genome by honoring those who accidentally remove themselves from it...").

This is a lesson on what/who will survive... and let me tell you, after today there are only 2 possibilities...

1. I survive (but I kill my kids) or...

2. My kids survive (and I kill myself).

Neither is the best choice, but really, I think they are about to drive me to drink. Maybe the answer is N.E.V.E.R. be in an enclosed area with them. Ya, I think that is the key. That or never be with them. Hmmm, I kinda like that second one.

While surfing the net today I found that it is quite a common occurrence in nature for adult animals to kill their young. Seriously, check out the list...

rats, ground squirrels, lemmings, hamsters, mice, voles, muskrats, gerbils, prairie dogs, marmots, butterflies, lions, African hunting dogs, bottle-nose dolphins, baboons, gulls, kangaroos, gorillas, and chimps

These are just a FEW. So, after today's experience I have a greater understanding and empathize with the animal-kingdom parents.

I will say, though. I am a human (albeit not a completely sane one) and I can choose to let them live, which I did...

for today.

Patience- by Take That

NPSA- Great Mother Edition

2009-05-29T13:25:00.000-07:00

Hello, My name is Julie and I am a neglectful parent.

Hello, Julie.

Thanks for that nice warm welcome. Today I am going to be talking about something a little off for an NPSA meeting. I want to award a mom with the very first Mother of the Month award. I am sure you are asking yourself, "Why are we having a Mother of the Month award when we are supposed to be celebrating Neglectfulness?" Here is my answer... I have no freakin' clue. I just thought it would be fun for today since we went to an end of the school-year water party.

And the award goes to ..... (drum roll is going- can you hear it???)

Laina!!!!!

(take the button Laina - it is all yours- at least for this month)

Now here is the reason- She ROCKS! I am pretty sure that she will N.E.V.E.R. be a part of my NPSA group. She always has fun things planned. She threw an end of the school-year water party at her house for the younger kids today and it was a blast. And by a blast I mean, all I had to do was show up with my kids in bathing suits and I sat in a comfy chair while she did EVERYTHING. Ya, okay, so I helped pass out the popsicles. Really, I didn't want to strain too much. This is my last day of freedom for a whole 3 months. From now on I will have 4 shadows following me around. I will have those little/loud voices in my head (and coming from the shadows) saying things like

I'm bored.

We never do anything fun.

Can (insert name here) come over?

Can I go over to (insert name here)'s house?

Can we go to the pool?

Why aren't we having swimming lessons?

Why are you still sleeping?

The list can go on and on. These are only a few of the fun things I have to look forward to hearing. Wish there was some way to get the voices to stop!

So here is just a few of the fun pics I snapped as I sat back and had fun, relaxed, visited with friends, and the like.

Theme song- Summertime, Summertime by the Jamies.

On the brighter side of life

2009-05-28T07:54:00.000-07:00

After my last post about my deep thoughts and depression I thought I'd add a little goodness to my day. With what you ask????

Oh, just some random pictures I have in my photos that I haven't blogged about. They were making me smile. Thought I'd share a smile with you today.

Right back atcha! Melinda taking a picture of me taking a picture of Melinda. Did you get all that?

What are you looking at? And why are you in the window? And how did you get there over the monster pile of junk that is in the way?

Groovy hat. Been watching Devo lately?

Just so you know what I'm talking about (or you could have clicked on the link).

Don't you just love how baby tights fit? It's like a whole outfit all by itself.

Sherry busting a chuckle during a game. See what fun you can have playing games? (That was a private joke aimed at Hubby- although not so private since I blogged about it on Venus vs. Mars.)

Snake with the crazy Robin Hood snake eyes. Do you remember that part in the Disney Robin Hood film??? Am I the only one? Nevermind.

Okay, so I have posted this one already, but I couldn't help it. It just makes me smile everytime. My bro in the bathtub (NOT taking a bath). If you need the whole story look here.

Ya, that's about it. There are so many more, but do you really need to know that I look through my pictures when I need to smile? Of course you do. This is only a little taste of my joy.

Theme song- yes, how did you know???? Was it the title? Maybe I need to be better at not giving it away in the title. Of course, by the time you get to the end of any post you have already heard the song, so it isn't really a surprise, is it? Anyhoo- Always Look On the Bright Side of Life from Monty Python. Couldn't resist.

Oh the pain

2009-05-26T14:22:00.001-07:00

Yes, the pain in my head that is caused by trying to think too much. I have been out of school way too long.

Now that I have that off of my chest, I'd like to tell you all a little story.

Growing up I thought my parents were perfect. No, not perfect in that we had the best relationship, but I thought they never did anything wrong, never had a hard time making good choices. Other than some fights I witnesses, they never even said bad words. So, I thought I had a lot to live up to when I became a mom.

Fast forward to age 33. Yup, that's me. I'm 33 and have had my eyes opened to the real world. The real world where parents make mistakes. I now know that my parents did the best they could, but didn't do it the BEST EVER! There are things that I have tried to improve on as a mom, but seeing as I post about at least one serious parenting weakness every Friday on my NPSA meeting I am not doing a terrific job.

I have my faults, more than even I am willing to admit on a blog that is read by people I haven't ever met (and by those I have). Yes, I will post about my nasty house. I will post about my obsession with tattoos (no, I don't have one!). Yes, I will post about ignoring my kids by putting on my iPod. Yes, I will even post about reading so much that I don't read to my own kids. That's right. I don't read to them. Great admission, don't you think?

There are limits to my admissions, though, believe it or not. I am going to delve a little deep here for a few moments, bare with me. And then we will head for high ground.

I have some seriously deep-seeded issues, some that stem from my childhood and are now affecting my adult life. I was in bed last night until who-knows-when-I-actually-fell-asleep pondering things. Thinking about things that probably are not helpful or healthy. I woke up today wondering why? Why was I allowed to be a parent? Why did Hubby choose me? How am I ever going to get over these issues? Do I really even want to fight the fight anymore?

Okay, now, come up for air. We are all done. Did you survive?

Now that you are all completely and utterly scared, just try walking a day in my brain (or something like that). I hope you come back to visit my blog sometime. I may have lost a lot of you to the brighter side of life- which was not happening in this post.

Oh, and one note for my kids if they ever read this in the future- NOPE! I'm sure not perfect, but I'm sure you already knew that!

Theme song- Talking in your sleep by The Romantics.

With My Genes???

2009-05-24T19:13:00.000-07:00

How is this possible?

With my genes and Hubby's genes, how did this happen?

I think I gave birth to a metro!

A what?

A metrosexual.

Snake used more hairspray today on his hair to get ready for church than I did. AND he has been in the bathroom "fixing" it at least 3 times already and we still have time to go before bedtime. Who know, he might get in there a few more times before he goes to sleep.

This picture was taken tonight after one of his own attempts at fixing it all up. He is a groovy looking guy, don't you think?

Theme song- Puttin' on the Ritz by Taco. Love this song- great memories.

What's that from????

2009-05-22T12:46:00.000-07:00

Hello everyone. My Name is Julie and I suffer from NPS. Thank you all for being here today. I was just thinking yesterday (because I got some fabulous mail) about my family's favorite game... "What's that from." See, it is a game where we just quote movies and we have to name the movie.

I come from a family of MOVIE-LOVERS. Seriously! If you ever have a movie question my bro is the go-to guy. He is amazing. His head is so full of useless movie quotes that he would so be my life-line if I ever go on Who Wants To Be A Millionaire. (For other useless trivia my dad would be my life-line, but that is a story for another time.)

We watched The Wonderful World of Disney every Sunday night growing up. We watched TONS of on TV movies, too, throughout the week. I sometimes wonder if we ever did anything else (but of course we did- I just don't remember all that like I remember the movies).

Here is where my NPS comes in... I let my kids watch movies. Yes, movies that apparently I shouldn't. I'm not talking XXX type movies. Not even rated R. I'm talking just more violent movies that make other parents give me the "you so shouldn't have been allowed to have kids" look. I thought I was just being a nice parent. Not too overbearing. Toughen up those kids. I don't want them to be scaredycats. So here are the movies apparently not on the "Good Parenting Movie List" but are in my family's DVD collection (just a few to wet your appetite for a good flick).

Now this one is just funny. I highly recommend it if you can get it. Now that I am older I totally get the "adult" jokes, but my kids still don't so it's okay to let them watch it, right?

This one Hubby let the kids watch. Don't ask me... I was at work. It was free on Comcast so they all sat down to watch it. They all got a kick out of it. Personally, I am afraid of snakes, so I don't think I would have been laughing.

This is a GREAT movie, but pretty violent. Snake loves it. One of the faves in our house I think!

I haven't even seen the 3rd one and I am letting my kids watch it???? Hubby has seen it so he is okay with the chillins watching it. I have to be careful, though, when the kids have friends over because I am not sure this is on the approved movie list for other kids.

Yes, I have let all of my kids (including the 2-year-old) see Twilight with me. I have totally gotten THOSE looks but my kids thought it was great. The "gross, bloody" parts are actually funny to me because the special effects for this movie were horrid! Why can't my kids see it???

Yes, Snake has seen Star Wars 3. Yes, he saw the ending when Anakin Skywalker melts in the lava. He thought it was cool. Now he knows how Vader became Vader. Totally important information if you watch 4, 5, and 6, RIGHT??? Nevermind that we all watched 4,5, and 6 when we were young and had no clue how that all came to be, but whatever!

Oh, and this is my favorite....

Yes, we let a few of my friend's kids watch Chicken Little at our house one night and they were bawling like babies. I thought this was a great movie selection. The kids ranged in ages from 3 to 6. The 2 that were freaked out weren't even the youngest. The boys told us that their parents don't let them watch movies about aliens. Who knew? So, parents beware- this is NOT on the "Good Parenting Movie List."

Theme song for today??? Today's was a special request from my friend, Kerrilyn. "Only In Your Heart" by America. Not really about the topic for today, unless you really try to twist the words to your own meaning, but it was bugging us last Saturday that we couldn't think of the song and so Kerrilyn had to google it.

On second thought

2009-05-21T12:57:00.000-07:00

I had a different post ready for today. This keeps happening. I have a fabulous idea and then something happens that I just can't pass up the chance to blog about the newest. So, I had thought about blogging about the hail storm that almost killed my beautiful, young garden. I also thought I would blog about my friend Patti who brought ice cream to me the afternoon after my surgery and sat on my bed and kept me company and gabbed with me- it was fabulous! I was also going to blog about the summer posse that I belong to and all of the fun things we are going to be doing this summer (which I am sure that you are all going to be hearing more about during the summer).

BUT, then something FANTASTICALLY WONDERFUL happened. No kidding. I was floored. Not that I didn't think Blogging Mama was going to send my prize to me. I just had no idea how wonderful it was going to be.

See, I won a DVD from her 400th posting giveaway. That's right. I won a copy of Weird Science.

Good memories. I am sure that I am going to be closing my eyes and wondering the whole time why my parents ever let us watch this when we were young (just like I do with just about every other movie I watched when I was growing up) but it has memories and I am totally excited that I won.

Here's where it gets super exciting. When I pulled the package out of my mailbox it didn't feel like JUST a DVD. And BOY WAS I RIGHT! There were great surprises in store for me! There was a CD that Blogging Mama Andrea put together (which is the best because I am sure she knows my love of music- so I am going to be using one of the songs on the CD for today's theme song).

There was a super-sweet card from her.... And the best ever! GERMAN CHOCOLATE!

WOW! I wasted no time busting that open and snacking away! Can we say YUM!?!?!

I should have been patient and taken a photo journal of me opening the package, but I don't have patience and the remains of the packaging are in the trash can where they will remain. I am not big on digging out trash- been there, done that, and I like trash to stay in its appointed place. So check out my prize winnings!

I know you are jealous. I am so lucky. This totally brightened my day! I love getting mail, and its even better when it is GOOD mail, not junk mail. AND its the BEST when there is chocolate and memories in the mail. THANKS Blogging Mama Andrea. You are the BEST!

Theme song from Blogging Mama- I'm Alive by Kenny Chesney (with Dave Matthews) AND we are going to be a double take- the second one is People Watching by Jack Johnson (that one is for Crash- because we all know how much you lurve Jack).

The Adventures Of GG

2009-05-20T14:46:00.000-07:00

GG is a great friend, but kind of embarrassing to have around. You see, GG is my Geeky Glasses. You know, the ones that MMIT broke last week. The ones that I have had to wear with tape on them because they eye doctor has to wait for replacement frames to be sent. Ya, that is GG.

I was trying to think of a fun way to survive this past week with looking like a total moron with my taped up, broken glasses when it totally hit me. So, for those of you with grade-school-aged kids and know the story of Flat Stanley, I thought I would do a similar story about GG. See, Flat Stanley gets sent in the mail for his many adventures. My glasses had no need to be mailed. They got to enjoy the adventures everywhere I went. Check out all of the fun!

First I tried this tape.

Using this tape to hold GG together I went on a couple of adventures. My favorite was going to the digital scrapbooking class with some friends. We had a great time!

In the car, on our way. Look, GG even got her own seat.

My friend, Laina, came with me. GG had a great time with her!

The first tape seemed to do a decent job, but seriously, it just didn't have the staying power. So it was time for a makeover.

GG feels brand spankin' new!

After the makeover GG accompanied me to Kylie's piano recital. It was great. I thought Kylie did the best ever (and so did GG). Uncle Bret even got in on the action.

I was feeling a little used because GG decided to spend some quality time at the recital with Uncle Bret. But then, she decided to come back to me.

Saturday was a big day. We started our garden. WOW! That was a lot of hard work. GG had to keep taking breaks because she didn't want to stay on my face while I was leaning over, pulling weeds, and planting. GG was more of a moral support kind-of gal during the gardening than a go-getter.

Then, Monday, GG got to have the best adventure EVER! She got to go boating. Really, can life get an more leisurely? GG had a great time tanning on the towel.

GG even got to drive for a minute. That was a little scarey.

GG felt more comfy on the raft with Patti and Sally.

Theme song for Wednesday- Sunny Afternoon by Songs for Surgery. This is a thank you to all of you who wished me well for yesterday's excursion to the OR. All is well and I am up and moving. Just a quick "female" type surgery and now I get to enjoy the whole month instead of just 3 weeks. Good times. TMI? Probably...oh well. This is my blog. I get to type whatever I want.

Hop Skip and Jump...

2009-05-18T15:22:00.000-07:00

on over to Wednesday because I probably won't be feeling up to posting anything tomorrow (Tuesday). Wednesday is if I am feeling optimistic about my surgery tomorrow. Hoping all goes well because I have the most fantabulous posting that I need more than 5 minutes to post. So, I am just going to leave you with these pictures. Here's looking at you kid...

We all know I am up for the mother-of-the-year award. And with this saggy/soggy diaper I am pretty sure I just jumped into first place! And yes, I do allow my daughter to get naked in the backyard while I am gardening.

Theme song- Hop, Skip and A Jump by East Main Street Explosion.

Me & My Mischief Makers

School Pictures Are In

9 day stretch

Name Change Winner...

Dear Irony...

Wish List

Books...

Something to make you smile

Silliness

All I Ever Needed To Know...

Did you know?

I'm Slow... Deal With IT!

It's Not ALL Bad

Lesson from the Bits

Halloween Prep

We are attempting...

Sometimes

Funny to come home

the week continues

I HAVE ARRIVED

M.I.A.

I'd like to thank...

That's my boy!

Note to my daughter

(Part VII) Well?

Double Duty Tuesday

Food, Friends and Fireside...

Can't take the credit...

Chicken & Dumplings

Taking a break

(Part VI) Let's Get Married

SO SORRY

****NEWS ALERT****

(Part V) I kiss you not

(Part IV) First Date and all that jazz

(Part III) And then we....Dated????

(Part II) This is just the beginning

(Part I) In the Beginning

Duh!

I need some inspiration

Why Would I Make This Up?

What would you do...

My To Do List for the School Year

Is it possible????

It was only a dream

Like mother like daughter

NPSA Saturday Edition

First off

In which I want to pull my hair out

Just some thinking going on

negativity is eating me alive

Sleeping Arrangements

Monday

It's Finally Friday

The Push to be GREEN

Special Wednesday

Things to be thankful for

Camera Fun

NPSA- finally

Our not-so-alone anniversary celebration

I'm Feeling Blue

You might be a failure if...

Did you know?

Happy 10th to the Man in my life

My life as a fairytale

It's PaRtaY TIME!

Never too much company

Summer Vacation

And again and again

It's FRIDAY!

Check this out

It's all about the pictures

Oh, It's just me

Saving one mother at a time

Summertime Blues

Home Invasion

I know you are dying to know...

Curses!

Randomness in my brain

Best sounds in the world

NEWS ALERT